e-mail of the day -- a DIRECT copy of the e-mail

WOULD KISS RVERY INCH OF YOU SWEETNESS FROM HEAD TOE AND SMELL YOU LIKE THE PRETTY FLOWER THAT YOU ARE IN THE FUTURE COWGIRL

No, I cannot make this up

they always come back

So almost two months later guess who resurfaces…ah yes, the linebacker has resurfaced. It happened when I received a nice little “Hey bebe, how you doing” message. Of course he recently deleted his FB account. When I asked what happened he said it was complicated.


A wonder if complicated has a name…

linebacker part deux

Of course he slowly started backing up again. I’m starting to wonder what’s going on. I mean, I’m playing by the rules; I’m giving him space when he needs it, not being clingy, but he starts getting weird again. Then, I saw him the Wednesday before my birthday and all he could talk about were the big plans he had for us. Then Friday it went from nice restaurant (you know, the kind you have to wear a suit in) to some place that was a nice sit down. On Sunday morning (we were supposed to do dinner that night) it became, a text of “FML, I have to work, can’t do dinner”
In all honesty, I had a feeling this might happen given his track record and the distance he had been giving me. So I said ok, told him I was bummed, but said that we should try for something the coming week. He said that tomorrow was my birthday, he’s off, and we might be able to do something then. Now, I’m not one to put pressure on anyone, so we left it at that.
The guy knew Monday was my birthday, so I decided not to text back (I hate the “game” btw). Then Monday night, after a few birthday drinks and not hearing from him all day I decided to BBM him with a sarcastic “thanks for the birthday wishes”
Of course this never goes well. To make an already long story short, the last few lines went like this:
Me: I just don’t know why you’re acting so weird lately; it doesn’t take that long to send a text
Him: I’m just busy
Me: You know, the last time I knew a guy who was acting so weird I found out he had a girlfriend
Him: Ha! A girlfriend, yeah right
Me: Then clearly you’re just too busy, why don’t you text me when you have time
Him: It’s like Burger King, have it your way TTYL (he really did mention BK)

I'm thinking, did he SERIOUSLY JUST quote a burgerking commercial and i can't even bother to deal.

The next morning this fool deleted me out of his BBM contacts. When I ask him, so that's it, you're through? His response is no bebe, i'm not through with you...accusing me of having a girlfriend

Seriously?! I just can't deal. needless to say that one didn't go far.

Linebacker Part uno

So I started dating a really nice guy who we are calling the linebacker because the dude is huge. He was a really nice guy, but I have to say, while I don’t need a lot of time, I do ask for some time in my relationship. It started off with lots of texts, chats, and hang outs. Then it went to being like pulling teeth just to get him to hang out.
I know what you’re thinking, just let it go? So I tried, I told him that if he wasn’t feeling this, it’s fine, just be honest and we’ll cut our ties while we’re ahead. Of course he was like, “no babe, I’m busy, you don’t understand, etc.” I’m not questioning his schedule, but if experience has taught me anything it’s that a guy who’s interested always makes time.
So I backed off and he went on vacation. Then, he got back from vacation and it was like a new person. I’m thinking…wow, he must have missed me! He was calling, he added me to his BBM list (which he hadn’t done the previous month or so), we went out several times a week. He started making plans for the next few months, he teased me for not having a fur hooded jacket (gross), and told me that I was missing out on all these New York experiences. Then, around my birthday, he suggested taking me out to a really nice dinner for my birthday (his suggestion, NOT mine). We were making progress for a few weeks, so I’m thinking wow; he should go on vacation more often.

Stay tuned for the next installment

Oh Em Gee...Married

so i met this guy when i was out with some friends. really cool guy, nice south african accent, he was flirty and so was i. he gave me his number, has been texting me, and friended me on facebook. well, considering the last conversation we had was about how attractive he thought i was, imagine my shock when his facebook page said he was married.

i'm not saying that you have to say hi, my name is  ________ and i'm married/have a boy/girlfriend. i just think that, even if you got married so that you could stay in the states, marriage should come up at some point in the course of several conversations. i also think that you probably shouldn't be asking people out. dating while married doesn't exactly help the marriage.

i don't know the entire story...the last text was we'll talk later. while i think that i'm definitely cuter, i'm not homewrecker and i don't want another woman's husband! i have a feeling i'll be hearing an "explanation" soon enough. To be Continued...

patty stanger and her obsession with straight hair

i love her bluntness and don't question her successes as a matchmaker but her advice is a little jacked up! Some of the things in her book are that you have to lose 20lbs, get shape wear, and only wear straight hair to attract a mate.

Now, i'm not saying that I can't afford to be in better shape, but the one that was the strangest is the straight hair. She talks about the need for straight hair in her book, in her show, and when she's giving advice to women about finding a mate. Maybe it's because I'm a southerner, but I just don't get it...I'm a fan of wavy and curly hair. To be quite honest, I get so much more attention when I curl my hair than when it's stick straight.

Is my reason for singledom because I refuse to wake up and straighten my hair? Why do I get more attention when my hair is wavy or curly? Personally,  think it's because I feel good with curly hair...straight hair makes me feel too upity (although it is nice on some days).

Let's face it, at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. You have to be comfortable with who you are to attract someone. I mean, who wants to hang out with someone who's uncomfortable about who he or she is?

Anyway, maybe Patty Stanger will find me a mate...in the mean time, I'll keep going with what makes me feel good about myself. Personally, when I'm having a crappy day, I love dressing my best...nothing feels better than getting dressed.

So go get yourself a new accessory, a new shade of lipstick, or put on your favorite outfit and be happy to know that you are fabulous.

guys...SERIOUSLY?!

we have heard all the stories of bad pictures going online. I get it, put your best foot forward and then do a bait and switch. Whatever, i personally don't because i like someone to know what he's in for, but i also tend to be too honest.

Here's what I don't get....why all the shirtless pics guys?! Does it really help you find "the one?!" because you sure are missing out on this nice girl. Here are some other tips from me to you

1. Don't use the words like "ma," "mami," "yo" or "check ya laterz, peace" - has this really worked for you?! Because no, I'm not gonna "kick it witch u" or "holla back" or "hit you up on the celli later"

2. If you are married, dating, in a "special situation" or in an "it's complicated" you have no business in an online dating site. I have had too many experiences and heard too many stories of those who went out with a guy who wasn't as single as he claimed to be

3. Save the baby mama/family drama for the soaps

4. You cannot be in love with a girl you just met, at the same time if you're too "hard to get" you're probably not single or want someone on the back burner

5. Try to be creative with an e-mail. If this is your e-mail "Hi." then, unless you have the most kick butt profile, i'm probably not going to respond

6. Accents are cute, admitting that you're looking for a green card no so much

7. Not all women want a marriage proposal and babies on the first date...yes, crazies are out there if you're looking for them, but nice girls just want a nice guy. On a side note, creativity will always win points on a date...especially a first date

8. being vague and not answering any questions isn't mysterious, it's just weird

9. Stop with the negativity already!

10. If you make it to the date, know that you've been exposed. We already know if a guy is interested, he makes time, he calls, he texts (in a non-stalkerish way of course).  All I can say is don't think I'm waiting around for you

You are Beautiful

yes, Xtina said it best when she reminded us that we are all beautiful.

So I was out on the town, I thought I looked cute, and I got to catch up with all sorts of friends. Then around 1am I started chatting with a guy. He was cute enough, liked him as a new friend, but that was about it.

So he had a nice dose of truth serum and had reach the point when people "stop being nice and start being real." The conversation started harmlessly enough. We chatted about how much fun we were having, he said I was a cool gal, liked my personality, etc. I'm thinking it's been a fun night with old and new friends. But remember, this is me, it's never that easy.

After another shot and a few more gulps he turned to me and said, "you know, you would be so gorgeous if you just lost like 20lbs."

Two things came to mind
1. "Go F&%$ Yourself"
2. Is he being for real?! I mean, the only situation going on in your mid section is a few left over beers

Now, I will say that it wasn't the first time someone has said that to me. Let's be honest, of course I can afford to lose weight. I mean, it doesn't help that I gained weight moving back to Texas...land of supersized food and the first parking spot, but why do people feel the need to inform you of your weight?

I mean, I'm a decently active person, I've been at least the chubby kid my entire life, and I'm not overly crazy on the junkfood (minus the sweets). At the end of the day, it's about a healthy life and a healthy mindset. If you know me, you know that my main motivation to lose weight is for better clothes; at the same time, clothes is not enough of a motivator to get me to spend hours at the gym or only eat salads (don't worry, I do a little of both).

We are regularly bombarded with images, people, and our own selves pressuring us to look a certain way. For me, especially as I approach 30, I say screw it all. I am not looking for acceptance or approval. I refuse to read any more fitness articles...I know all the exercises and I'm still not going to spend hours at the gym. I might Zumba, but then I might take a few weeks off.

I am trying to challenge myself to see the good. I am working on being happy with who I am rather than stressing about the numbers on the scale (even though it is nice to see the numbers go down).

At the end of the day, the people closest to me, and most gay men in New York City, would say that I am perfect the way that I am. I am fabulous and deciding to become "gorgeous by losing at least 20lbs" is someone else's problem, not mine.

Besides, the one for me isn't sticking around because of what the numbers on my scale are or aren't. I'm going to leave with the chorus of one of my favorite Sister Hazel songs.

You've probably heard the song Change Your Mind, but here's the best part (and if you haven't heard the song do it)
If you want to be somebody else
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change Your Mind

Never let anyone make you feel less than the BEAUTIFUL you that you are. Until the next entry

it's been a long time

sorry for not blogging...a few of you have asked and i've just been slacking. don't get me wrong, i've had some heinous dating experiences, but i'll save that for the future.

in the mean time, i've been busy wrapping up a job,  moving to New York City, and trying to get settled in. By settled in I mean a job of course. Now that I've got the job and am slowly getting back into the NYC routine, it's time to catch you up on my experiences.

In the mean time, a big CONGRATULATIONS to all of you who have found someone special, gotten engaged, gotten married, had kids, and are all around working on being happy with yourself. After all, we have to know who we are before we can really open ourselves up to a relationship. If not, then we'll always look for someone who completes us rather than compliments.

Stayed tuned, blogs are coming up :)

Glee + Madonna = New Blog!!!

So, after last night’s episode of Glee “The Power of Madonna” I was inspired to write a little about what’s going on in my life after seeing the girls perform “Express Yourself.”


Things are a little crazy right now…as one would expect with a cross-country move just around the corner. Last week I was in NYC for a job interview and, of course, I got another first-hand glimpse of how classy guys are.

You never know how “appealing” you are until someone knows you’re in town for a few days/hours. Guy A texted me and willingly offered to hook it up and Guy B wasn’t far behind with a similar offer.

Now, both Guy A and B could be appealing for different reasons.
* Guy A is educated, driven, makes a good living, likes to travel, definitely an Alpha Male, good looking guy.
* Guy B is also educated, creative, an artist, likes to travel, not quite as aggressive as Guy A but still a take charge type.

Neither one are in a position to be in a relationship until they work on themselves. That was the case then and it’s still the case now. One has more baggage than an airport and the other makes Eeyore look cheerful.

Both are guys that I dated in the past and the romance fizzled out for way too many reason…I mean, it’s bad if you know the reasons before you break it off. I do feel that an ex is an ex for a reason, but this goes a lot further into the world of relationships.

While some would find the offer from these two flattering, I couldn’t have felt cheaper. Why should I lower my standards because you’re feeling a little lonely? Why should I allow myself to be objectified so you can get a release? I didn’t do it when we were talking, why would I do it now?

I hate to sound arrogant about it, but, to be quite honest; I’m just not at that level of boredom or loneliness. As my 20s come to an end, it’s time to prioritize. If you’re just after the physical relationship, that’s fine…no judgment here, but don’t fool yourself into thinking the physical leads to a real relationship. As many of us have come to realize, a guy rarely turns a booty call or hook up into a relationship.

As single people in the world, you really have to sit down and know yourself and what you are or are not willing to compromise. When you’re ready to find the real deal you have to ask yourself what you want and what you aren’t willing to compromise on.

It’s easy to look at your friends Facebook profiles and start freaking out because it feels like everyone is in a relationship, engaged, married, or having kids. I know it happened to me last night…I started thinking, when the hell did everyone grow up?! I still feel like I’m a 20-something in college. At the same time I refuse to let the pressure get to me.

I am in no way anti-marriage and would like to meet “the one” who just gets me, but I also know that if I jumped into a relationship without being ready, it would become another failed relationship and I deserve better than that…we all do.

As Madonna says, “Don’t go for second best baby, put your love to the test. You got to make him express how he feels and then you’ll know your love is real…”

The crazies always come back for more...

Let me begin by saying it’s always the ones you don’t want who keep coming back for more. So, the southern boy who disappeared from my life and de-friended me on Facebook has decided to resurface.


It began with some VERY random e-mail forwards. Ok, if you know me, you know how much I hate forwards…fortunately for him, the forwards were cute. So I replied with a “please stop sending me these forwards.” To which apparently meant “I’ve missed you, please e-mail and text me." I really need to work on my communication skills

Any way, he decided to proceed with contact. I of course don’t feel like wasting my time on another guy for the sake of male attention. Why set myself up for unproductive dating experiences. No dates is SO much better than the bad ones

To make things better, he is trying desperately to act as if nothing happened…as if we went out a few days ago instead of a few weeks ago. When he asked me how I was, I responded with a where did you disappear to. He of course said he had “things” he had to deal with (translation: Stuff with my ex-girlfriend/I wasn’t over my ex)

He has for two weeks now been trying to set up Coffee Date Round 2. The nice thing about getting ready to move across the country is that I don’t even have to make something up. I’m really busy.

I commend him for trying to set something up (speaking of, he’s texting as I type), but it’s too little too late. I mean, sure, a girl can let a week slide, but no self-respecting girl lets it go for 6 weeks only to go back to the guy for more…especially when the one and only date wasn’t so great.

This non-smoking, liberal, peace loving, hippie girl just can’t make it work with a smoking/hunting ultra conservative. Sure opposites can attract, but you have to have some commonalities.

I prefer a guy who isn’t going to fall off the face of the earth because I’m a girl he could see himself in a relationship with. I want the guy who sees the potential and sticks around.

Take a Hint...

So, the slobbery kisser is back…actually, he never went away. I've put it out there before and I know this sounds bad, but I don’t know how to get rid of him.

I might reply to one text for every 6 IMs/Texts he sends me and EVERY time he asks me out I have an excuse. I’ve told him that I don’t think things will work, he knows that I’m moving, and still he persists.


I know that persistence is a great quality in life; however, how far do we continue to pursue someone who clearly isn’t interested? He’s a nice enough guy, but we don’t want the same things in life.

He isn’t Catholic (doesn’t practice any religion), he has a kid and doesn’t want any more, we want very different things in life, I know that I'm not the type of girl he's looking for, but more than anything, I'm just not feeling any spark or excitement. He's definitely not someone I think or want to call if I'm having a bad day, need support, or just want a laugh. The list goes on of why he is a good person, but he's SO not right for me.

In the mean time, I’m still trying to figure out how to help him get a hint without being harsh. Poor guy…I hope he finds someone who works for him.

We don't value ourselves enough...

I really do believe that, as women (and men), we don’t value what we bring to the table. Whether you’re a stay at home parent, working in ministry/non-profit, or a member of the corporate world, chances are you don’t see the gifts you possess. To be quite honest, you are better than you think you are.


Now, you’re probably asking, “Where is this one coming from?” Well, it’s coming from my own reflections.

It’s not a self-esteem thing, I think that I’m a pretty good person and like who I am, it’s just difficult to identify my own strengths that make me a modern day “superhero” if you will. I see so many people out there and think I wish I was more like or I wish I could like .

We’ve all done it, and while comparisons inspire us and challenge us to be better in life, we also can’t forget what we do bring to the table.

In fact, I recently had a conversation where I used, my common phrase of, “I’m not anyone special, I’m not doing anything above and beyond to make a difference in the world, I’m just me…” the tables were turned to the oh so famous quote of “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

Now, cheese and joking aside, it’s something we forget. If you sat down and asked me where I was lacking in life, I could give you a laundry list of items…I wish I was a better musician, I wish I was more artistic, I’m not organized enough, healthy enough, I wish I could love like Mother Teresa, etc. We’re all really good at finding the “not good enough” areas in our lives.

Here’s the thing, if we continue to harp on what we can’t do, we’ll never be able to have healthy relationships, we won't be good friends, good spouses, parents, employees, or just happy people in this world because we're too busy focusing on what's wrong rather than what's right with the world. It’s almost as if we need to get a check up, put on those new glasses, and try to see ourselves the way the world sees us.

If you get nothing else from reading this blog, please know that you are perfectly you and that makes you very special.

Day 9 of 30

So here we are, Day 9 of 30. I have not been on a date in a little while…although, now that sentence makes me sound like an addict. Hahahaha…
Let me make it official, Hi, I’m addicted to online/bad dates, it’s been 18 days since the last one. Hahahaha…

Seriously, I thought I’d give you a quick update on how things are progressing. It is liberating to not have to sit in another bad date, to know that I can focus my energies else where, and to know that I’m taking the stand to say, “I want more and I deserve better.”
On the flip side, Mr. Louisiana randomly called me today. I think it shows signs of my progress. It's like guys have a radar for these things. Just when you're moving on, they want to call you. Fortunately, I'm so far beyond this one that there's nothing he can say for his odd behavior.

Here are some random thoughts from the last 9 days:

I need the quiet. I don’t mean that I need to sit in a place all by myself every day, I just need down time. Lately I’ve had the opportunity for a lot of quiet time, and it has really helped. If you haven’t taken time out of your day, no matter what time it is, to just be still and be in that moment, try it. If you’re uncomfortable with being so still, start small…it works

I hate text messaging, I do. While it is convenient, I’m so tired of people texting me. More specifically, I can’t stand it when a guy is interested in you but only wants to text. Text messaging is fine on occasion, but if it’s your primary means of communication, it becomes more annoying than any thing else. No one can develop a relationship via texts.

I want to meet the guys from the Buried Life…they inspire me, they decided to try something and they made it happen.

Of course we don’t fast from something without putting something else in its place. I’ve been praying the rosary on a daily basis as well as a 30-day novena to St. Joseph. I can say that I’m feeling more centered and more at peace with what’s going on right now.

Additionally, there are some big changes and moves on the horizon. I’m excited where life is heading and look forward to seeing what else life has to offer.

having a sense of humor Part deux

Sorry the next entry took a little while, but that’s what happens when we get busy! 


So, we were at Yaga’s minding our own business, when we noticed a trio that looked like they came straight off the set of Jersey shore. Mind you, that I’m in Galveston, not anywhere near Jersey.

Of course, it was hard not to have a giggle when you saw them and instantly think of the Jersey shore and the greatest dance move of this generation, Fist Pumping. Of course we were quickly busted when one of us made the fist pumping movement.

Drunk 1: Were you making fun of us?

B: Um…no, we were talking about the Jersey shore is all…

Drunk 1: You were totally making fun of my friends, it’s ok, I make fun of them too. I’m the token Mexican who hangs with them…did you know my mom is really Italian, so I’m part Italian. (meanwhile I’m thinking, my poor poor friend).

Those two go one chatting for a while, Drunk 2 leaves to get more booze and to find a poofy-haired, tight skirt wearing lady of his own. Drunk 3 was actually fairly sober and looking around to find a more interesting conversation while monitoring Drunk 1.

Things got interesting as Drunk 1 asked to borrow a pair of glasses so he could read his text messages. Who knew that someone else’s glasses could help you read your text messages?! Of course that led to more laughter, me making fun of him, and all three ladies shaking our head at how sad and funny this situation was.

Drunk 1 decided to catch our names since he had been so enamored by B (sorry, lady, you know he was SO into you…that’s why he asked where your husband was…hahahaha). Any way, I digress…he introduced himself to us, but I of course had to provoke him.

See, what I forgot to tell you is that not only is he a B.O.I. (that’s island speak for a true Galvestonian, Born on the Island), but we went to school together for a few years. Yes, for some reason, I am that person that people see and then, even when we rode home from school together, they proceed to ask if we’ve ever met. I was a little shyer in high school, but I still look more or less the same. I never buy that excuse...even if it was true, play it off people!

Any way, Drunk 1 was not happy when I started telling him quite a few things about himself that I knew, Drunk 2 was MIA, and Drunk 3 was really trying to see if/how he remembered me. Oh well, Drunk 1 went downhill very quickly; his friends took care of him.

We left Yaga’s, I opted for a famous Hot Dog lady which is where I met Frank. As I was chatting with the Hot Dog lady, I told her that we managed to meet most of the Galveston drunks, which is when Frank said, “Hi, I’m Frank, now you’ve met all the drunks in Galveston.”

Needless to say, the night ended with quite a few laughs!
I always love going out with the ladies, good friends, good music, and good pizza is always the start to a FANTASTIC night! :)

You have to have a sense of humor in life...

So I was out with two friends, it was Friday night, technically Saturday morning and we decided to grab some pizza after a fantastic show at the House of Blues. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) the night turned out to be one that advocated for sobriety.


No seriously, I think we met all the drunken fools out in Galveston that night. Let me share our experiences with you.

Guy #1
Leaning on the bar, we walk up to order pizza. He turns around, looks at us and says, “You ladies are cute! Let me buy you shots…I think we need to all take shots.” Now, while any single gal should be flattered that this bachelor thought all of us were equally cute and deserving of a free shot, this was not just any bachelor. Oh no, we was drunk, slurring, and I noticed that he had been talking to a lady friend when we walked in (good ol’ hawk eyes at the bar).
Me being the sarcastic one that I am was of coursed pegged as the ball buster. Hey buddy, you were looking at a bracelet to ask “What’s that.” How else do you want me to react when you’re pointing to a bracelet?! Oh well, we ordered our pizzas, begrudgingly accepted a free beer, and moved as far away as possible. Personally, it was funny to watch how quickly his lady friend forgot about the starring down my friend and went back to what turned into a snog-fest at the bar. Oh well…it was officially time to wait on pizza

Guy #2
We were in the midst of laughing about Guy #1 and eating pizza that we unintentionally let our guard down. This was of course our first mistake.
This was more of a group of guys who had been drinking for about 4-5 hours. The one who really decided to focus his attentions on me started with a creative line of something that I believe was “Let me buy you ladies a shot” (Oy ve, what is with these shots?!).
As he proceeded to discuss what was in the shot (which took at least 15 minutes because he couldn’t remember the complicated recipe of Malibu, pineapple juice, and Peach Schnapps).

Meanwhile, I’m practically leaning out of my chair while trying to persuade this young bachelor that pizza or water may be a better choice at this point. As we finished our pizza, I went to pay the bill. Of course, my suitor decided to court me at the bar. No, it wasn’t in the way of more free drinks. Instead, he decided to grind on the side of my thigh. As much as I love no-rhythm white boys between the drunkenness and his package on the side of my legs, I didn’t know what to do. I mean, my gut would be to knee him, but I couldn’t stop laughing at how pathetic and ridiculous this all was getting.
Fortunately, the bartender, a.k.a. my savior, kicked him and his buddies out. And, even better, one friend was stone cold sober because he had just gotten his truck out of the shop from a previous “incident”

Guy #3
Oh well, the night was young, so why not hit up some of the Galveston staples. On to Tsunami/Yaga’s…good old faithful. Well, it seemed the theme of drunkenness was not over. In the mean time, this blog is getting a little long, so, stay tuned…

To Be Continued…

Self Reflection - Day 1 of 30

So, it’s time for a new blog entry. I don’t have any dates planned, but I’m going to see what the future holds.


After a long conversation with a dear friend this past weekend, I was posed with the question, “what are you doing? You’re right, you can’t get those hours of your life back, so why are you wasting time on guys that can’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.” Funny enough, a few hours later I had another conversation with a friend who asked if I was dating for the sake of blogging or if I was dating because I was genuinely interested.

I think that the bad dates and experiences were a way to put myself out there without having to worry about any real substance. You know, it’s dating, but only 50% rather than 100%. C’mon, I’m not an idiot…I know when a guy is a dud. I still believe in giving everyone a chance; however, some of the not-so-great-dates are more about me than them.

I’ve decided to scale back on these dates. The blog is about putting myself out there; however, it’s also about sharing a piece of who I am with all of you on this journey to self discovery and fulfilling what I’m called to do in this life.

I still have profiles on the online websites, but after the last “date” I figured that I have had enough. I am not going to actively pursue anyone for the rest of lent. So, for the next 30 days, I’m going to spend my energy on other things like prayer, making sure the teens in my post-confirmation class make these service projects happen, and just spending time with people I love rather than people I tolerate.

It doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop writing a blog, and it definitely doesn’t mean I’m going to stop dating (HELLO, this is me we’re talking about), it just means that it’s time to take a step back and be still.

After all, how can we appreciate the beauty of the season of Lent without some quite and reflection?

the Groundhogs day of dating...

Ok, so I went out with one of the southerners. First I need to learn better than to be so kind to guys.
Any way...we decided to go out on Monday since I was going to be in Victoria for the week. I work in Houston, he lives in SW Houston and I live in Galveston.

While we should have met in the middle, he wasn't feeling well, so I made the drive to his hood (in BFE). We met for coffee and had a decent time. Two beverages and four hours later we parted ways with plans for dinner on Sunday.
Tuesday we chatted ALL day long about nothing really. Now, towards the end of the day I could tell he was in a weird place. Maybe he's not completely over his ex, I don't know.

Wednesday he was super quiet. We chatted for 2 minutes...he said he was sick and going through "things" Of course I thought "oh great, here we go again..."

Sure enough its Thursday and nada! To make it better he unfriended me on Facebook. I'm understanding how women get jaded or give up. With all these fruits and nuts I would compare my dating life to a fruit cake!

I decided to text him (since I'm in meetings all day) and say that I was going to stop bugging him, let him deal with his stuff, and I'm giving him his space to "deal with his issues."

Of course its 6hrs later and still no response. So much for his claim of being honest and upfront with people. Oh well, at least there's a good weekend in Corpus to look forward to.

Southern Hospitality

So, I have met...well, virtually met, two really sweet guys. I have a date with them in the next week, but I digress. So, there are two guys who are from different areas and are different ages, but both want the same things out of life.


These two southern gentlemen want to own a home in the country (far away from the city), with 1-4 kids, and a wife that stays at home. It’s bizarre to have very similar conversations about marriage and the future with people you don't really know and who don't know each other.

From a sociological perspective, it's actually pretty funny to see how much a thought or an ideal is the dominant thought in a particular area. These, super sweet, great guys, couldn't be more southern if they tried.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about living in a small town to raise my kids in, but as a single gal, I'm not jumping to the burbs or the country tomorrow. I love spending some time in the country, but my time in Venus, TX taught me that I need to be a little closer to city life, to large amounts of diversity, and to all the energy that a city can bring.

One is probably not going to work, but the other seems to have some serious potential. Either way, can’t wait to hang out with them in person...

Until the next time!

Can we have it all?

So, if any of you are on the Yahoo Homepages, you may have seen an interview/article about Lori Gottlieb and her new book: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.


Now, my gut reaction was…SERIOUSLY?! I mean, here we are in 2010 telling teens not to settle while telling women that it’s ok to settle the older you get. I read a few articles by and about her, and, from what I have read, she basically saying that I have a high chance of finding someone to settle for at 30 than I ever will at 40.

Now, I’m not unrealistic about my stock and the guys out there. I don’t think I have idealistic expectations, but I also find it hard to settle. I mean, you have read about some of the guys I’ve dated. Could you imagine me marrying any of them?!

The only part I really agreed with is the last few paragraphs of one article. She says that we should never stop looking for Mr. Right, but that we’d be happier if we changed our perception of who he is. I agree with that. I mean, we have a list, but as we get older, our priorities should change.

Marriage and relationships are hard enough without adding the fact that you’re mildly interested in the person you’re with. Don’t get me wrong, we can and should compromise (I know I’m no picnic 100% of the time), but I just can’t imagine marriage without any sizzle.

I don't bash Lori at ALL and don't think others should, she's just a single mom voicing her opinions. What I will say is that, while we compromise on the perfect abs, rock star good looks, or seven figure salary, we definitely need to know where to draw the line.

This single girl knows the sparks may wear off, but it’s still important to find someone who, 20 years down the road, will still make her smile.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/05/AR2010020501442.html

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry

Valentine's Day is for...lovers?

I think that all Valentine’s Days should be on Sunday…ok, stop rolling your eyes and hear me out.


This year, Valentine’s Day fell on a Sunday. I LOVED it. As a single person, there was no pressure to go out and do something. I spent Valentine’s Day catching up on sleep and went to mass in the evening. I didn’t have a Valentine, although I think I’ve only had one Valentine, and that was a gay boyfriend in college (figures).

For those who did have a significant other to celebrate with, Sundays are usually a relaxed day. You can celebrate Saturday night, Sunday with Brunch, meals, movies, etc. I think the general laid back vibe of Sundays takes the pressure off of the perfect gift and puts the focus on where it should be by providing the opportunity to slow down with the ones you love.

In fact, this year, some of the best things about Valentine’s Day were the phone calls/texts I received…especially the Valentine’s Day Song from one of my closets friends. I felt special, not because of a guy, but because I knew I was and felt that I was loved.

I don’t think this is a jaded girl ranting about Valentine’s day as much as the fact that we need to take the opportunity to get to the root of the day…a day for those in love to express their love for each other with small sentimental tokens of your love rather than jewelry, crazy lingerie, or any other ridiculous items.

For those singletons out there, remember that you may be single, but you’re definitely NOT alone...

Until the next post!

Quagmire a stud? try DUD...

and TOTAL creepy pervy guy? So apparently Glen Quagmire does exist in real life! I was supposed to have a date last week, but I was stood up (again). Now being stood up can take a toll on your confidence; however, I'd rather be stood up than even be in the same breathing space as some of these creeps.

Let me back up. A few weeks ago I reconnected with this guy I had met online but never met in person. Seems nice, seems to have his act together, so we start chatting. After some fun e-mail exchanges and decent chats, he asked me out. We agree to go out, I give him my number, didn't think to take his, and we make a plan to meet up at 6om at a particular location.

Well, it's 6:10 (I was running a little late), I get there only to realize the place closed. Ok, so, do I go home now? I decide to hang out at Borders and see if he calls. I mean, maybe he's running late and I have some good cupons for books (yes, we know I'm a nerd). I start reading a book and realize that it's 7:15pm and I haven't heard from the guy at all.

Of course I was annoyed, but, thanks to one of the lovely gay men in my life, I managed to go out and turn a bad night into a fun one. Well, the next day Quagmire IMed me, told me he forgot my number on his desk and didn't have a chance to call me. Ok, fair enough.

We then rescheduled for this week, last night to be exact. He got out of work before I did, so he was going to contact me. Now, I know you're thinking all sounds fine and you're probably wondering I don't get it, what's the big deal? 

Well, after saying he was going to contact me, he also suggested that we meet up for a drink (normal), followed by giving each other massages at a hotel (not so normal). He said he would invite me to his place, but didn't want his roommate (wife?) to hear us (riiight, like we're doing anything like that within 5 minutes of meeting).

Not only did the conversation get really weird after that, but he also sent me some special pictures. Needless to say, everything in my gut says ABORT! ABORT! I mean, why would I meet a stranger in his hotel room? I'm going to pass on being cut up into tiny little pieces.

He offered to help "make me more comfortable and we could just drink" but again, I'm going to pass on slipping anything in my drink too. All in all, it reminded me of watching Quagmire on Family Guy.

This self proclaimed 29 year old virgin should really learn how to treat a lady or find someone who is impressed by his ability to reserve a hotel room. This girl is not one of them.

Oh well, back to the drawing board. Until the next time!

Spell Check and Grammar Check People!!!!

Online dating has really raised the bar for things like spelling and grammar. See, in person, someone may come across as interesting. On paper, your inability to grasp elementary grammar and spelling comes shining through like a mag light on your eyes in a dark forest or a laser pointer to your cornea...

Ok, I know that I'm being over-dramatic, but I'm always caught off guard by people who don't understand the difference between words like:

• your and you're
• their, there, and they're
• to, two, and too

I'm so NOT perfect so I don't expect perfection from others...at all! However, after a few e-mails, when I realize that you really don't know the difference in the above words, it's really difficult to start thinking long term and dating. I guess as an almost English major, I would hope that someone I'm interested in dating would know the difference.
*Sidenote: maybe Dr. Pressman's Corporate Communications class screwed me up in ways that stretch far beyond my imagination*

I'm telling you, misuse of those words gets me every time. To those guys trying to impress me, definitely go for spell check and grammar check. An understanding of 6th grade grammar or a slight punctuation works wonders on this self-proclaimed geek (or Gleek as it would be)...

keep on reading, keep on rockin'...

Would you send your mom those photos? How about your grandmother?

Online Daters be warned...

There's nothing worse than a guy that you start chatting with online, you really hit it off, and then he surprises you with "special photos"

These photos are usually titled things like, "Just Me" or "Something Special For you." To all readers, be VERY careful when and if you decide to open those photos. They aren't quite as sweet as they seem. In fact I find that 90% of the time, when a guy sends you a "special photo" its usually of him in his birthday suit. Why I want to see that is so far beyond me. Where the hell does that seem like a good idea?!

Here I am, just checking e-mails, excited to receive a special e-mail from someone I might be interested in and then...BAM! I'm blindsided. Here's my thing, if you have to surprise someone with these types of photos, you probably shouldn't be sending them. Besides...are you really that proud of your *Ahem* shortcomings?

Take this gal's advice, just wait until you're in a relationship with someone to give them that kind of "surprise." In fact, I recommend that, if you can't show that photo to your grandmother, you should probably avoid sending them to strangers altogether...with the exception of those who get paid to do that sort of thing, then more power to you!

until the next time!
-z-

Can't get no love...

not even in my sleep...seriously!

So, I was in the middle of a great dream. I had met Mr. Perfect...I couldn't see the face, but I remember that he was tall-ish, dark curly hair, tattoos, and a musician (of course). Just as things were working out my dad woke me up (before the alarm at that!). Do you have any idea how much that sucks?!

Oh well, at least I've met Mr. wonderful in my dreams. Now, if only I could meet him in person...

seriously?!

So I met up with someone that I met on a "platonic friends" site. He seemed nice, a bit of an odd bird, but nice. we started chatting and then he asked me out on a date...like a legitimate date, not a hang out. definitely not expected, but ok, sure, whatever...i wasn't super excited, but i wasn't opposed either.

mr. wonderful suggested dinner. now we all know how i feel about dinner on a first date, but i said yes just the same. he suggested Tex Mex and Margaritas...a guy who was speaking my language. i'm always down for that. of ALL the Tex-Mex (Mexican) joints in the area, guess what type of classy joint he suggested....

are you on the edge of your seat yet? prepare yourself for this...we went to none other than Casa Ole. Yes, of ALL the places in this area to eat we went to the WORST place ever! I already knew this wasn't going to be the best, but I'm a sport and decided to just go with the flow.

The conversation was a little stiff. For some reason he had a hard time looking me in the face. I chock that up to three things
a. he was evil and i was too pure of heart...his evilness wouldn't allow him to look at me
b. my beauty was just too much for him to make direct contact
c. he was just WEIRD
i'm going to say option C. any way, this guy was a total winner. was divorced with a 5 year old, blatenly looking for a hook up, and talked about the need to party and "smoke" on a regular basis. keep in mind that he is 35. 

unfortunately i haven't figured out a polite way to duck out of a dinner date (another reason why you don't do a dinner date on the first date), so i stuck through the meal.

as our conversation progressed, he told me that his son had recently gotten into trouble for kissing kids in class. i thought this was going to open up to a cute, endearing story about his kid...instead it became an argument between mr. wonderful and me.

situation: the poor 5 year old kissed a girl and a boy. when his dad asked him why, he said that he liked kissing the girl and the boy too. of course my response was "that's cute"

him: "no its not, i told him he would be in big trouble if he ever kissed a boy again"
me: "why, he's 5...who cares?"
him: "no son of mine is going to like kissing boys"
me: "who cares? he's 5...besides, what would you do if your son was gay?"
him: "beat the crap out of him. we would have to fix that problem...." blah blah blah, more rants and CRAP about gay people. the hardships, the lack of acceptance, and that it was wrong followed up by bible passages, how gay people have the biggest issues, and every other terrible thing you could think of.

ok, i have said this before and i will say it again, i cannot date close minded people...EVER. I'm not going to defend good people because you're too close minded and live in a reality that doesn't extend past your nose.

I would rather be in a room full of "sinners" and "those people" than deal with more haters of the world. Seriously, there are enough problems out there in the world...why should we add to the negativity? If you want to call yourself a Christian, then you should treat ALL people with dignity and respect regardless of age, gender, race, socio-economic status, OR sexual orientation.

Any way, if you couldn't already tell, he really pushed my buttons. Needless to say, the "date" ended fairly quickly after that without any additional contact (there isn't enough tequilla in the world to have me do that one again). At least it was a free meal...crappy as it may have been.

Come to think of it, maybe he couldn't look at me due to option A...the evilness inside of him. Maybe he should go out with the hostess or the waitress they were both pretty into him...i think they may have been more his type any way.

PLEASE...NO MORE!!!!

I still believe...

Those of you reading this blog get to see first hand my challenges of dating in today's world. You get to read about me being stood up, the weird requests, and the torture that my dates tend to turn into.

After being stood up on Friday (which the guy is MIA, but has been online...whatever), a friend asked me on Friday, "When was the last really good date you went on?"

After some laughter and sarcasm, I'm ashamed to say that I had to sit down and really think! I've had some good starts, but most dates fizzle or crash and burn...FAST! It's been quite a while since I had a really good date.

I sat down to analyze what's been going on in my life the past few months. I think I can pinpoint my "disaster dating" to a couple of things. First, in case you were wondering, I have been in love before. I found that person who "got me"...the one to call when you're having a bad day; the first one you want to call on a good day; and the one who thinks you look good, whether you're dressed up or sick on the couch. After losing someone like that, it takes time before we can move on.

We think we're ready, but there's a bit of healing that has to happen first...our heart has to catch up to our head.

I think that some times my bad dates are partially because my heart is still healing, so I pick people who are wrong for me. Fortunately, the way I see it, bad dates are still a way of putting yourself out there in a "safe way."

The second part is that we can never make age a reason for settling. I refuse to settle into a relationship with someone because I fear being alone. For those of you who have had a great relationship, I don't understand how you can settle. I mean, you know how good it can be.
I do think we should give people a shot because people surprise us; however, I also feel that we shouldn't just sit around with someone who treats us ok because people also suck and will take advantage of you if you let them.

While there is something to be said for arranged marriages and taking all the guess work out of the dating process, I don't know that I would change any of my bad experiences for the world. I still believe that I will find love...how and when are just part of the unknown.

I take comfort in hearing all of your stories. It's always nice to know you're not alone! All of us are just living our lives, doing the best we can. When it comes to the quest for love...both to love and to receive love , the only absolute is that you have to put yourself out there.

No matter the relationship; yes, you're going to get burned, yes, you're going to get stood up on occasion, but you're also going to meet some amazing people along the way. Who knows, when the dust settles, you may find that you're more resilient than you thought you were.

ni modo: tough luck

well, there's not much to say, so this blog will be pretty short. I was supposed to meet someone for drinks tonight. I had a feeling he would cancel when I busted him with his excuses before the meet up...let me demonstrate:
him: i'm free on friday, do you want to meet up a little after 6?
me: i can leave any time around 4:30pm, so that's fine
him: cool, i can't stay out too late because i have a meeting
me: awwww man, you haven't met me and already you're bailing on me!
him: well, everyone has to have a back up plan just in case
me: gee thanks, i sure feel special!
him: lol...no, i really do have a meeting. but you have to have a back up just in case. it's like having a girlfriend call you to make sure it's safe
me: gotcha...can't believe you actually said that though...
him: no, let's meet up at 6pm. i really have to go to a conference for work on saturday, but it will be fun
me (duh, obviously, i AM fun): ok cool

i texted and called him, but nada. i'm sure he'll be online later and will have a really great excuse...he strikes me as that type :)

more than being ditched, i missed my Zumba class AND i HATE wasting a good outfit!
while typically my reaction is to say his loss and still go out (which i almost did), i have a meeting with teens tomorrow and i don't think smelling/looking like the day after is agood thing.

so instead i'm at home blogging and watching Ace of Cakes  and catching up on my George Lopez show :)

until the next time, keep reading and keep spreading the word!
-z-

Why don't you write about the good dates?!

Well, this question has come up several times, so I figured I'd leave you an answer. There are a few reasons...

1. There are so few of the good dates that it gets hard to remember the last time I had one :)
   Seriously, that's not me being over dramatic...
2. If I go on a good date, but don't feel a connection, I tend to become friends with that person. Out of respect for that person's privacy and our relationship as friends, I usually just let it go.
3. The truth is, the bad experiences give me such a bigger laugh that I have to share those. I mean, who wants to read "he was really nice, we decided to become friends." Isn't that how most of your friends came to be? A nice person that you decided you wanted to befriend?

Any way, thanks for reading. Feel free to offer suggestions, and SPREAD THE WORD!
Please pray for all those in the world! Peace and love to all the readers out there!

I'm meeting someone for drinks on Friday, so wish me luck! Until then...

Now that I finished my rants...

Sorry for the rants in the previous blog, but I just had to put it out there. Now that those singleton rants are out of the way, I can move on...hahahaha

It’s January, the month of “New You” articles (Why didn't my friends tell me there was something wrong with the old me?!). January media loves to tell us how to lose weight, stick to our New Year’s Resolutions, get organized, and make more time; but the one thing that always gives me a good laugh are the increasing articles giving single people out there Tips to finding “The One”


In fact, I just read an article that gave “the Top 10 strategies for finding a guy in 2010.” Thank you writer, because I was wondering why 2009 didn’t work out for me.

Here I am, approaching 30 and *gasp* still single (although I was recently told that I should start to worry after 30, so I have about 7 more months...hahahaha).

No, this isn’t a rant about why I can’t find a guy. I meet all sorts of people all of the time (obviously). My question is, why are we so obsessed with relationships? Seriously...whether it's getting a man, keeping a man, or making your man happier than ever, every magazine out there has some sort of "Dating Advice"  What’s wrong with being single?

While I would love to meet someone special, the truth is, I'd rather be single than settle for anyone. Unlike my teen years and early 20s, I really don’t mind being single most days. I know I speak heresy down south, but I’m educated, make my own salary, and have some amazing friends (both male and female), so why settle for someone for the sake of being in a relationship?

Granted, once we graduate high school it becomes increasingly difficult to meet people with similar interests that are appealing to you, but, if you’re putting yourself out there in any way and are open to experiences and people who enter your life, then you’re doing as much as you can.


Single people don’t have endless amounts of free time, but we also don’t have tons of juicy dating information to share with our non-single friends. Sorry to disappoint, but our lives are just as boring as all of those "in relationships."


I don't understand why pop culture and modern media consistently pressures single people o become “less single” rather than becoming “more complete.” How about printing articles about making a difference, loving the person you are, and helping to inspire each other to change the world?


In my opinion, you should be looking for someone who compliments you, not completes you. No relationship will ever be successful if you are looking for someone to complete you. Only you can complete you.


*side note: Hats off to all you brave people out there. To all readers, no matter what your relationship status is, you're brave because every day you get up and put yourself out there in this crazy world*

single girl rants

This is TOTALLY me ranting out some of my frustrations, please feel free to disregard and move on or add you own rants...

1. Catholic Young Adults is not a singles group. I hate going to really ANY Young Adult night only to find out that it’s a bunch of single women and two single guys hoping to find someone. I just want to go to a gathering where I’m with people my own age.

Hey, I am ALL about trying new things and putting yourself out there, but try to avoid going to something with the intention of meeting the one. Be open minded and always look your best, but choose to enjoy the experience rather than finding the most attractive person

2. The stupid statistics are all a bunch of crap! I don’t care if waiting until I’m older for marriage will make my marriage stronger. I don’t care that your site has had a __% success rate, and I really could care less that this product or look is going to make me more attractive and more likely to lure someone of the opposite gender.

Your statistics are crap when it comes to those who got married young and are still married, are crap when there are 60-somethings who have been married multiple times, are crap when these bottled pheromones are attracting mosquitoes instead of men, and are total crap when I’ve been on plenty of sites without meeting “the one”


3. Being out with a group of friends, especially on New Years, does not guarantee that I’m going to feel “less single.” Not being single makes you feel less single.

In the mean time, screw it…just go out and have fun doing what ever makes you happy!

I don't think I ever left high school...

So, I was out with some friends over the weekend and once again began to wonder, Do we ever really leave our high school selves behind? It doesn't matter how much you do, where you go in life, or how together people think you have it...inside, I'm still an insecure teenager.

Why do I do this to myself? I don't know. What I do know is that, while I had a blast on Saturday (there's nothing like a group of teachers who decide to let loose!), I still thought my outfit wasn't "cool enough," I got shot down by a cute tattooed guy, think of your high school badass, when all I was doing was asking about his tattoos *side note: sorry dude, we don't all want you*, and probably came across as the biggest dork to this very attractive 24 year old who thought I was 22 (thanks for your number?!). But as I looked around, I realized I wasn't alone.

All around there were people still trying to fit in, some by acting silly, some by surrounding themselves with those who matter, and others using good ol' alcohol as a confidence booster. Sure, we think that we have it all figured out and that we don't care what other people think...until one person does something that knocks us off our confident adult pedestals right back to our high school selves.

Granted life experiences cause our perspectives to change, we have more responsibilities, we pay bills, and curfew is out the window, although you'd be hard pressed to see us begging to stay up all night. At the same time there's still a piece of us trying to get a seat at the cool table.

Generally speaking, we are still insecure with our appearance, we're still working on cool points,  and we still manage to get tongue tied when the "hot guy/girl" approach us (even if it is just to ask for the empty chair at your table).

Kudos to those of you who are reading this thinking, "what the hell is she ranting about?!" In the mean time, this Speech Team Captain/Band Geek is off to see what else life has in store because. While I am still a big dork, unlike in High School, I don't let my dorkiness stop me from joining the party.

Thanks for reading, until the next time...

Am I Really THAT Bad?

A quick update for those of you who are a little curious and have asked the question...

So, the Alabama boy has disappeared off the face of the earth. Is it a taste of my own medicine? Cosmic Karma for ignoring other people? Who knows...

I have sent an e-mail, made another phone call, and nothing. Since Alabama won, we know that either he's not a completely terrible person or that Karma wasn't quite in play on this one :)

In all honesty, this goes so far beyond a girl being bitter. It's not about "I was stood up" and more like, "I really hope he's ok." I know it sounds silly, but I've never experienced someone making plans and totally disappearing off the face of the earth.

Oh well, I'll say a prayer that everything is ok. In the mean time, stay tuned for more adventures to come!

The Eyes of Texas are Upon You...

So, here's what I don't understand, too much interest means you're desperate, not enough mean you're not interested. guys, what's the balance?!

Ok, let me start at the begining. I was supposed to meet up with Alabama boy on Monday. He called that he was going to have to postpone to Tuesday because he had been helping a friend all day and he was still working on what ever man-building project they were doing. Ok, cool...I met up with a friend for coffee instead.

I started heading home when I noticed I missed a call from Alabama and decided to call him back. As we were chatting, we realized we were in the same neighborhood, and decided to go ahead and meet up for a quick drink and watch the Fiesta Bowl (hello, why waste a cute outfit?!).

First of all, he was VERY good looking (maybe that's why I'm bothered by this...hahahaha). Things were going well, but he was clearly tired (as in you could see it in his eyes, not in his disinterest). About 20 minutes into our "hang out" or pre-date he asked if I still wanted to do dinner on Tuesday. Why not? Things were going well, I liked his vibe, and we already made plans, so we might as well stick to them.

It started getting late, he said he was worried about me driving so far and said, why don't we end tonight and meet up earlier tomorrow. I agreed. He put my coat on me, held the door open, walked me to my car. I'm thinking, now this is a man who's mama raised him right. A true Southern Gentleman.

We said our goodbyes, and then he called me because he said he wanted to stay on the phone with me to make sure I got home ok. How sweet is that?! I get home, we say our good nights, and the conversation ends with him saying, "Ok sweetheart, have a good night and I'll call you tomorrow."

I'm sure you're thinking, what's the big deal? Things sound great to this point. My sentiments exactly! Not the case. Tuesday came, went, and I never heard from him! Before you jump to conclusions, I know he was busy (he had a few job interviews), so I called him around 5:30pm, no answer, so I left a message.

I worked on a couple of other things and an hour later I didn't hear from him. I called him again. Maybe I screwed that one up, but I did leave a message that was pretty easy going, "Hey, hadn't heard from you and just wanted to touch base before I headed back to Galveston. Let me know if you want to meet up or what's going on. Guess it's your turn to call me. Bye"

Wednesday came and went...still nothing. The guy has become MIA. Seriously...don't know where the H-E-double hockey sticks he went! The worry wart in me is like, is he even okay?! Maybe he wasn't interested, but here's what I don't understand:

1. Why sent up a date on the first date if you didn't want to go out with that person again? Here's the thing about a date. If you don't like the person, don't make a committment! Say, "We'll have to hang out again some time." Locking in a specific date or making set plans means you plan to hang out again.

2. Why bother calling me for almost an hour AFTER parting ways. Again, easy out is to not speak with me at all. Leave it as "I had fun, I'll talk to you soon" and that's that.

3. Why not answer the phone? He didn't even hit the "Ignore" button. At least if I had been Ignored I could say wow, he really didn't like me. I mean, if he was having second thoughts, he should have called me back, say, "I got caught up at work," "had an interview," "flew off to another planet," whatever and then follow up with a vague "we'll have to reschedule some time." (I should keep my mouth shut because now you know all of my excuses! hahahaha...

Now, why the title of this Blog? While everyone knows that I love the Longhorns, I'm asking you to help root for the Longhorns. No, this isn't about Texas Pride.

Apparently he has a bet for Steak Dinners with about 13 different guys. He's the Alabama boy who was talking smack about Texas and everyone else is rooting for the Longhorns. I think in regard to Karma, balance in the Universe, and the fact that "God don't like ugly," it would be quite fitting that, since he stood me up, he could be stuck with buying steak dinners for 13 different guys.

Granted, I do hope everything is ok and nothing major happened to him. He really seems like a good guy. In the mean time, Texas Better Kick some Alabama Butt!!! Just saying...

single sassy girl's dating advice

dear men, here are some of my dating tips for you...

The First Date
1. NO MOVIES! seriously...i think movies are good for the third or fourth date, but a movie on the first date is such a bummer. for me, i don't want to spend the night at a movie only to go to dinner with someone i may not even like. for me, movies are a personal thing. i ended up at the movies with a guy wearing a sweatshirt in a hot theater. he was upset that i didn't want to lean on him (um...hello, it's too hot!), and then was really offended when i finally turned to him and said, "would you shut the hell up, everyone's trying to watch the movie). needless to say, there was no second date.

2. keep it casual. i say start with drinks so you have an out if you need it. meeting up for a beverage keeps it casual and then you can move onto the date if you're both feeling the chemistry.

3. a guy should always pay for the first date. no, i'm not a gold digger or a female with archaic views of relationships. it's about the gesture. your first date doesn't have to be expensive...go to an art walk, free movies in the park, etc. just make sure that you pay for anything you do on the first date. if you don't, chances are you won't see a second date

4. have a few suggestions in your back pocket. if you don't drink alcohol and she does, chances are she's going to suggest meeting for drinks at a bar only to feel like a lush when she's drinking at the bar. when the inevitable question comes of "where do you want to meet" offer three suggestions that would make you both comfortable. Coffee  house, bar, museum...what ever and where ever it may be, first dates are tough enough without the added pressure of meeting some place that makes you uncomfortable.

5. try not to kiss her on the first date. you may want to, she may want to, doesn't matter...don't do it. again, the first date is a lot of pressure, why add the pressure of a first kiss?

Moving Beyond the First Date
6. NEVER EVER bring up how turned on you were, how you just wanted to make out with her, how you wanted to jump her, or any other way you may eloquently put it. we already think all you're after is the hook up. bringing up anything physical just convinces us that we were right, that's all you're after, and then we start to wonder if we should even bother.

7. if you really like the girl, throw the 3-day rule out the window. trust me on this one. we spend so much time obsessing on "does he like me" that by the third day we've convinced ourselves he wasn't into us and have started moving on.

8. second date is a good time for dinner, but be creative too. bowling, mini-golf, etc. as long as there's a fair warning most things are game. just know that we're probably going to be upset if we wore a dress and heels only to discover that you planned to go bowling.


General Rule of thumb
9. chivalry is NEVER out dated or out of style. Even the most uber-feminist appreciates thoughtfulness. don't go over board with ordering for her, just be sweet and thoughtful. everyone wants to feel special

10. If a girl says she's busy, then she probably just has a busy week. Now, if a girl is dodging your calls, not replying to e-mails and text messages, not commiting to a second date, etc. then she's just not into you. Honestly, we're not much different than guys on that one

ok...that's it. those are my top 10 tips for guys out there. please know that there are exceptions to these tips and that your situation may be different, but i find them to be pretty accurate.

i hope they help or at least amuse. please feel free to chime in...i love reading your comments! thanks for reading and keep spreading the word!

a note to those married men out there

if you're not sure that you're ready to get married, then don't do it. in the recent month i have had a conversation with several married men who are unsure about their marriage. please know that i think they are all great and am in no way bashing them (so put your clubs away). i just think that we have put so much pressure on ourselves to be married that we're missing the bigger picture and rushing into a relationship.
life is about perspectives, if you're not sure about what you want then take a moment, breathe, and look at the bigger picture. in the end you're going to cause a lot more damage than good.

ok, that's my vent for today. it's a really random one, so you didn't receive an e-mail reminder :)

Ringing in the new year...almost 30 and still just as fabulous!

Thanks for reading...I really appreciate it. Please send the word out so my weird experiences can entertain more readers.


ok, so this story isn't as entertaining as some of my others, but on a night (hello New Years Eve) when you're feeling down about being single, feeling like the third wheel, and around lots of model-esque gals in their early 20s it's easy to think that 2010 is looking as great as 2009 ended.

first i have to set the scene for you. here i am, New Years eve, older than all the girls by at least 5 years, weighing in at least 50lbs heavier than every person in the room, the only girl wearing jeans instead of a black mini-dress, and in a room where I am the only girl under 5'7" (with the exception of me in my heels), I was hit on by the hottest guy in the group.

While he was a couple of years younger, he thought I was facinating, attractive, and charming...lol. i know those of you who are my friends would say, "why wouldn't he" but you're my friends and some days you just need an ego boost.

the night went on and the group decided to head down to the bar aross the street. here we were, he offered to put any of my drinks on his tab (score...free drinks!), but as the night went on the leggy blondes decided to focus on him and of course midnight hit, the model grabbed him for a good make out. at 12:15am he told me I was confusing him because I was so intriguing and then he attempted a make out. now, while I appreciate the compliments, I'm going to pass on a a drunken smoker who claims that he's been on a boat so he's confused about women in general which is why he made out with the other girl. While he may have been the hottest guy in the bar, i just haven't reached that level of desparation.

I may not have the age, the height, or the model looks, but age does bring wisdom and this gal doesn't do sloppy seconds. Any way, when all is said and done, I was still hit on by the hottest guy in the group ;)

I have a coffee date tomorrow, so I'm sure there will be more to tell!