So, I was out with some friends over the weekend and once again began to wonder, Do we ever really leave our high school selves behind? It doesn't matter how much you do, where you go in life, or how together people think you have it...inside, I'm still an insecure teenager.
Why do I do this to myself? I don't know. What I do know is that, while I had a blast on Saturday (there's nothing like a group of teachers who decide to let loose!), I still thought my outfit wasn't "cool enough," I got shot down by a cute tattooed guy, think of your high school badass, when all I was doing was asking about his tattoos *side note: sorry dude, we don't all want you*, and probably came across as the biggest dork to this very attractive 24 year old who thought I was 22 (thanks for your number?!). But as I looked around, I realized I wasn't alone.
All around there were people still trying to fit in, some by acting silly, some by surrounding themselves with those who matter, and others using good ol' alcohol as a confidence booster. Sure, we think that we have it all figured out and that we don't care what other people think...until one person does something that knocks us off our confident adult pedestals right back to our high school selves.
Granted life experiences cause our perspectives to change, we have more responsibilities, we pay bills, and curfew is out the window, although you'd be hard pressed to see us begging to stay up all night. At the same time there's still a piece of us trying to get a seat at the cool table.
Generally speaking, we are still insecure with our appearance, we're still working on cool points, and we still manage to get tongue tied when the "hot guy/girl" approach us (even if it is just to ask for the empty chair at your table).
Kudos to those of you who are reading this thinking, "what the hell is she ranting about?!" In the mean time, this Speech Team Captain/Band Geek is off to see what else life has in store because. While I am still a big dork, unlike in High School, I don't let my dorkiness stop me from joining the party.
Thanks for reading, until the next time...
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I can't lie, I really don't care what happened in high school. When I look at all of those supposedly "cool" folks we went to high school with and I see how tore up they are, the comparisons don't even matter.
ReplyDeleteAnd Amy loved your outfit BTW! Putting together something cute like that takes knowing who you are as does dancing like a maniac. LOL
You know who you are and what you stand for. When you know what you represent and how you want to do it, all of that will go out the window.
thanks for sharing, Z. I don't think your a Dork, but I think I'm a spaz , which would be a few steps below Dorks, so maybe you should look into that dorkiness factor and remember the spaz folks below .. LoL .. I'm with you on the journey ...and I hope for both our sakes .. we find that special someone .. we can tolerate of course.. wink.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, very nice and definitely a good laugh, lol!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, yeah I really didn't care too much about high school...I was always ditching school and the "cool kids", lol. But I do believe we all have a moment in which we do feel insecure about ourselves and times when we know that we got it going on. I guess we all at times want to be with the "In" crowd but if your not, make your own crowd...sooner or later, someone is gonna want to hang out in your "in" crowd and try to be a "cool kid" too, lol! Just accept who you are and go with it, enjoy the moment.
I, myself, am a dork and I think its awesome when someone else can accept and deliver their "dorkiness" as well. And may I add, I also look for a bit of dorkiness in the men I like...sense of humor is key!
Thumbs up Z!
Jnet