So, if any of you are on the Yahoo Homepages, you may have seen an interview/article about Lori Gottlieb and her new book: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.
Now, my gut reaction was…SERIOUSLY?! I mean, here we are in 2010 telling teens not to settle while telling women that it’s ok to settle the older you get. I read a few articles by and about her, and, from what I have read, she basically saying that I have a high chance of finding someone to settle for at 30 than I ever will at 40.
Now, I’m not unrealistic about my stock and the guys out there. I don’t think I have idealistic expectations, but I also find it hard to settle. I mean, you have read about some of the guys I’ve dated. Could you imagine me marrying any of them?!
The only part I really agreed with is the last few paragraphs of one article. She says that we should never stop looking for Mr. Right, but that we’d be happier if we changed our perception of who he is. I agree with that. I mean, we have a list, but as we get older, our priorities should change.
Marriage and relationships are hard enough without adding the fact that you’re mildly interested in the person you’re with. Don’t get me wrong, we can and should compromise (I know I’m no picnic 100% of the time), but I just can’t imagine marriage without any sizzle.
I don't bash Lori at ALL and don't think others should, she's just a single mom voicing her opinions. What I will say is that, while we compromise on the perfect abs, rock star good looks, or seven figure salary, we definitely need to know where to draw the line.
This single girl knows the sparks may wear off, but it’s still important to find someone who, 20 years down the road, will still make her smile.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/05/AR2010020501442.html
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry
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ahhhh I'm so glad you posted this. I keep reading reviews about this book, from Marie Claire to the NYT. She kind of shot herself in the foot with that title though: who will want to marry her and be known as "Mr. Good Enough?" I dunno. She has a great point about expectations though. She mentions 1 woman who wouldn't go on a 2nd date with a great guy b/c he was only 5'8 (and she was only 5'4!).
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting...I agree that she has shot herself in the foot, but then again, some think that I'm doing the same thing on a smaller scale.
ReplyDeleteI agree about unrealistic expectations, but there are pieces when she herself discusses just settling for the sake of a warm body to help her out.
Scary stuff to consider...lol
Hmm...I've never thought to myself "If only I had any warm body next to me!"
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