So I met up with someone that I met on a "platonic friends" site. He seemed nice, a bit of an odd bird, but nice. we started chatting and then he asked me out on a date...like a legitimate date, not a hang out. definitely not expected, but ok, sure, whatever...i wasn't super excited, but i wasn't opposed either.
mr. wonderful suggested dinner. now we all know how i feel about dinner on a first date, but i said yes just the same. he suggested Tex Mex and Margaritas...a guy who was speaking my language. i'm always down for that. of ALL the Tex-Mex (Mexican) joints in the area, guess what type of classy joint he suggested....
are you on the edge of your seat yet? prepare yourself for this...we went to none other than Casa Ole. Yes, of ALL the places in this area to eat we went to the WORST place ever! I already knew this wasn't going to be the best, but I'm a sport and decided to just go with the flow.
The conversation was a little stiff. For some reason he had a hard time looking me in the face. I chock that up to three things
a. he was evil and i was too pure of heart...his evilness wouldn't allow him to look at me
b. my beauty was just too much for him to make direct contact
c. he was just WEIRD
i'm going to say option C. any way, this guy was a total winner. was divorced with a 5 year old, blatenly looking for a hook up, and talked about the need to party and "smoke" on a regular basis. keep in mind that he is 35.
unfortunately i haven't figured out a polite way to duck out of a dinner date (another reason why you don't do a dinner date on the first date), so i stuck through the meal.
as our conversation progressed, he told me that his son had recently gotten into trouble for kissing kids in class. i thought this was going to open up to a cute, endearing story about his kid...instead it became an argument between mr. wonderful and me.
situation: the poor 5 year old kissed a girl and a boy. when his dad asked him why, he said that he liked kissing the girl and the boy too. of course my response was "that's cute"
him: "no its not, i told him he would be in big trouble if he ever kissed a boy again"
me: "why, he's 5...who cares?"
him: "no son of mine is going to like kissing boys"
me: "who cares? he's 5...besides, what would you do if your son was gay?"
him: "beat the crap out of him. we would have to fix that problem...." blah blah blah, more rants and CRAP about gay people. the hardships, the lack of acceptance, and that it was wrong followed up by bible passages, how gay people have the biggest issues, and every other terrible thing you could think of.
ok, i have said this before and i will say it again, i cannot date close minded people...EVER. I'm not going to defend good people because you're too close minded and live in a reality that doesn't extend past your nose.
I would rather be in a room full of "sinners" and "those people" than deal with more haters of the world. Seriously, there are enough problems out there in the world...why should we add to the negativity? If you want to call yourself a Christian, then you should treat ALL people with dignity and respect regardless of age, gender, race, socio-economic status, OR sexual orientation.
Any way, if you couldn't already tell, he really pushed my buttons. Needless to say, the "date" ended fairly quickly after that without any additional contact (there isn't enough tequilla in the world to have me do that one again). At least it was a free meal...crappy as it may have been.
Come to think of it, maybe he couldn't look at me due to option A...the evilness inside of him. Maybe he should go out with the hostess or the waitress they were both pretty into him...i think they may have been more his type any way.
PLEASE...NO MORE!!!!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
I still believe...
Those of you reading this blog get to see first hand my challenges of dating in today's world. You get to read about me being stood up, the weird requests, and the torture that my dates tend to turn into.
After being stood up on Friday (which the guy is MIA, but has been online...whatever), a friend asked me on Friday, "When was the last really good date you went on?"
After some laughter and sarcasm, I'm ashamed to say that I had to sit down and really think! I've had some good starts, but most dates fizzle or crash and burn...FAST! It's been quite a while since I had a really good date.
I sat down to analyze what's been going on in my life the past few months. I think I can pinpoint my "disaster dating" to a couple of things. First, in case you were wondering, I have been in love before. I found that person who "got me"...the one to call when you're having a bad day; the first one you want to call on a good day; and the one who thinks you look good, whether you're dressed up or sick on the couch. After losing someone like that, it takes time before we can move on.
We think we're ready, but there's a bit of healing that has to happen first...our heart has to catch up to our head.
I think that some times my bad dates are partially because my heart is still healing, so I pick people who are wrong for me. Fortunately, the way I see it, bad dates are still a way of putting yourself out there in a "safe way."
The second part is that we can never make age a reason for settling. I refuse to settle into a relationship with someone because I fear being alone. For those of you who have had a great relationship, I don't understand how you can settle. I mean, you know how good it can be.
I do think we should give people a shot because people surprise us; however, I also feel that we shouldn't just sit around with someone who treats us ok because people also suck and will take advantage of you if you let them.
While there is something to be said for arranged marriages and taking all the guess work out of the dating process, I don't know that I would change any of my bad experiences for the world. I still believe that I will find love...how and when are just part of the unknown.
I take comfort in hearing all of your stories. It's always nice to know you're not alone! All of us are just living our lives, doing the best we can. When it comes to the quest for love...both to love and to receive love , the only absolute is that you have to put yourself out there.
No matter the relationship; yes, you're going to get burned, yes, you're going to get stood up on occasion, but you're also going to meet some amazing people along the way. Who knows, when the dust settles, you may find that you're more resilient than you thought you were.
After being stood up on Friday (which the guy is MIA, but has been online...whatever), a friend asked me on Friday, "When was the last really good date you went on?"
After some laughter and sarcasm, I'm ashamed to say that I had to sit down and really think! I've had some good starts, but most dates fizzle or crash and burn...FAST! It's been quite a while since I had a really good date.
I sat down to analyze what's been going on in my life the past few months. I think I can pinpoint my "disaster dating" to a couple of things. First, in case you were wondering, I have been in love before. I found that person who "got me"...the one to call when you're having a bad day; the first one you want to call on a good day; and the one who thinks you look good, whether you're dressed up or sick on the couch. After losing someone like that, it takes time before we can move on.
We think we're ready, but there's a bit of healing that has to happen first...our heart has to catch up to our head.
I think that some times my bad dates are partially because my heart is still healing, so I pick people who are wrong for me. Fortunately, the way I see it, bad dates are still a way of putting yourself out there in a "safe way."
The second part is that we can never make age a reason for settling. I refuse to settle into a relationship with someone because I fear being alone. For those of you who have had a great relationship, I don't understand how you can settle. I mean, you know how good it can be.
I do think we should give people a shot because people surprise us; however, I also feel that we shouldn't just sit around with someone who treats us ok because people also suck and will take advantage of you if you let them.
While there is something to be said for arranged marriages and taking all the guess work out of the dating process, I don't know that I would change any of my bad experiences for the world. I still believe that I will find love...how and when are just part of the unknown.
I take comfort in hearing all of your stories. It's always nice to know you're not alone! All of us are just living our lives, doing the best we can. When it comes to the quest for love...both to love and to receive love , the only absolute is that you have to put yourself out there.
No matter the relationship; yes, you're going to get burned, yes, you're going to get stood up on occasion, but you're also going to meet some amazing people along the way. Who knows, when the dust settles, you may find that you're more resilient than you thought you were.
Friday, January 22, 2010
ni modo: tough luck
well, there's not much to say, so this blog will be pretty short. I was supposed to meet someone for drinks tonight. I had a feeling he would cancel when I busted him with his excuses before the meet up...let me demonstrate:
him: i'm free on friday, do you want to meet up a little after 6?
me: i can leave any time around 4:30pm, so that's fine
him: cool, i can't stay out too late because i have a meeting
me: awwww man, you haven't met me and already you're bailing on me!
him: well, everyone has to have a back up plan just in case
me: gee thanks, i sure feel special!
him: lol...no, i really do have a meeting. but you have to have a back up just in case. it's like having a girlfriend call you to make sure it's safe
me: gotcha...can't believe you actually said that though...
him: no, let's meet up at 6pm. i really have to go to a conference for work on saturday, but it will be fun
me (duh, obviously, i AM fun): ok cool
i texted and called him, but nada. i'm sure he'll be online later and will have a really great excuse...he strikes me as that type :)
more than being ditched, i missed my Zumba class AND i HATE wasting a good outfit!
while typically my reaction is to say his loss and still go out (which i almost did), i have a meeting with teens tomorrow and i don't think smelling/looking like the day after is agood thing.
so instead i'm at home blogging and watching Ace of Cakes and catching up on my George Lopez show :)
until the next time, keep reading and keep spreading the word!
-z-
him: i'm free on friday, do you want to meet up a little after 6?
me: i can leave any time around 4:30pm, so that's fine
him: cool, i can't stay out too late because i have a meeting
me: awwww man, you haven't met me and already you're bailing on me!
him: well, everyone has to have a back up plan just in case
me: gee thanks, i sure feel special!
him: lol...no, i really do have a meeting. but you have to have a back up just in case. it's like having a girlfriend call you to make sure it's safe
me: gotcha...can't believe you actually said that though...
him: no, let's meet up at 6pm. i really have to go to a conference for work on saturday, but it will be fun
me (duh, obviously, i AM fun): ok cool
i texted and called him, but nada. i'm sure he'll be online later and will have a really great excuse...he strikes me as that type :)
more than being ditched, i missed my Zumba class AND i HATE wasting a good outfit!
while typically my reaction is to say his loss and still go out (which i almost did), i have a meeting with teens tomorrow and i don't think smelling/looking like the day after is agood thing.
so instead i'm at home blogging and watching Ace of Cakes and catching up on my George Lopez show :)
until the next time, keep reading and keep spreading the word!
-z-
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Why don't you write about the good dates?!
Well, this question has come up several times, so I figured I'd leave you an answer. There are a few reasons...
Please pray for all those in the world! Peace and love to all the readers out there!
I'm meeting someone for drinks on Friday, so wish me luck! Until then...
- There are so few of the good dates that it gets hard to remember the last time I had one :)
Seriously, that's not me being over dramatic... - If I go on a good date, but don't feel a connection, I tend to become friends with that person. Out of respect for that person's privacy and our relationship as friends, I usually just let it go.
- The truth is, the bad experiences give me such a bigger laugh that I have to share those. I mean, who wants to read "he was really nice, we decided to become friends." Isn't that how most of your friends came to be? A nice person that you decided you wanted to befriend?
Please pray for all those in the world! Peace and love to all the readers out there!
I'm meeting someone for drinks on Friday, so wish me luck! Until then...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Now that I finished my rants...
Sorry for the rants in the previous blog, but I just had to put it out there. Now that those singleton rants are out of the way, I can move on...hahahaha
It’s January, the month of “New You” articles (Why didn't my friends tell me there was something wrong with the old me?!). January media loves to tell us how to lose weight, stick to our New Year’s Resolutions, get organized, and make more time; but the one thing that always gives me a good laugh are the increasing articles giving single people out there Tips to finding “The One”
In fact, I just read an article that gave “the Top 10 strategies for finding a guy in 2010.” Thank you writer, because I was wondering why 2009 didn’t work out for me.
Here I am, approaching 30 and *gasp* still single (although I was recently told that I should start to worry after 30, so I have about 7 more months...hahahaha).
No, this isn’t a rant about why I can’t find a guy. I meet all sorts of people all of the time (obviously). My question is, why are we so obsessed with relationships? Seriously...whether it's getting a man, keeping a man, or making your man happier than ever, every magazine out there has some sort of "Dating Advice" What’s wrong with being single?
While I would love to meet someone special, the truth is, I'd rather be single than settle for anyone. Unlike my teen years and early 20s, I really don’t mind being single most days. I know I speak heresy down south, but I’m educated, make my own salary, and have some amazing friends (both male and female), so why settle for someone for the sake of being in a relationship?
Granted, once we graduate high school it becomes increasingly difficult to meet people with similar interests that are appealing to you, but, if you’re putting yourself out there in any way and are open to experiences and people who enter your life, then you’re doing as much as you can.
Single people don’t have endless amounts of free time, but we also don’t have tons of juicy dating information to share with our non-single friends. Sorry to disappoint, but our lives are just as boring as all of those "in relationships."
I don't understand why pop culture and modern media consistently pressures single people o become “less single” rather than becoming “more complete.” How about printing articles about making a difference, loving the person you are, and helping to inspire each other to change the world?
In my opinion, you should be looking for someone who compliments you, not completes you. No relationship will ever be successful if you are looking for someone to complete you. Only you can complete you.
*side note: Hats off to all you brave people out there. To all readers, no matter what your relationship status is, you're brave because every day you get up and put yourself out there in this crazy world*
It’s January, the month of “New You” articles (Why didn't my friends tell me there was something wrong with the old me?!). January media loves to tell us how to lose weight, stick to our New Year’s Resolutions, get organized, and make more time; but the one thing that always gives me a good laugh are the increasing articles giving single people out there Tips to finding “The One”
In fact, I just read an article that gave “the Top 10 strategies for finding a guy in 2010.” Thank you writer, because I was wondering why 2009 didn’t work out for me.
Here I am, approaching 30 and *gasp* still single (although I was recently told that I should start to worry after 30, so I have about 7 more months...hahahaha).
No, this isn’t a rant about why I can’t find a guy. I meet all sorts of people all of the time (obviously). My question is, why are we so obsessed with relationships? Seriously...whether it's getting a man, keeping a man, or making your man happier than ever, every magazine out there has some sort of "Dating Advice" What’s wrong with being single?
While I would love to meet someone special, the truth is, I'd rather be single than settle for anyone. Unlike my teen years and early 20s, I really don’t mind being single most days. I know I speak heresy down south, but I’m educated, make my own salary, and have some amazing friends (both male and female), so why settle for someone for the sake of being in a relationship?
Granted, once we graduate high school it becomes increasingly difficult to meet people with similar interests that are appealing to you, but, if you’re putting yourself out there in any way and are open to experiences and people who enter your life, then you’re doing as much as you can.
Single people don’t have endless amounts of free time, but we also don’t have tons of juicy dating information to share with our non-single friends. Sorry to disappoint, but our lives are just as boring as all of those "in relationships."
I don't understand why pop culture and modern media consistently pressures single people o become “less single” rather than becoming “more complete.” How about printing articles about making a difference, loving the person you are, and helping to inspire each other to change the world?
In my opinion, you should be looking for someone who compliments you, not completes you. No relationship will ever be successful if you are looking for someone to complete you. Only you can complete you.
*side note: Hats off to all you brave people out there. To all readers, no matter what your relationship status is, you're brave because every day you get up and put yourself out there in this crazy world*
single girl rants
This is TOTALLY me ranting out some of my frustrations, please feel free to disregard and move on or add you own rants...
1. Catholic Young Adults is not a singles group. I hate going to really ANY Young Adult night only to find out that it’s a bunch of single women and two single guys hoping to find someone. I just want to go to a gathering where I’m with people my own age.
Hey, I am ALL about trying new things and putting yourself out there, but try to avoid going to something with the intention of meeting the one. Be open minded and always look your best, but choose to enjoy the experience rather than finding the most attractive person
2. The stupid statistics are all a bunch of crap! I don’t care if waiting until I’m older for marriage will make my marriage stronger. I don’t care that your site has had a __% success rate, and I really could care less that this product or look is going to make me more attractive and more likely to lure someone of the opposite gender.
Your statistics are crap when it comes to those who got married young and are still married, are crap when there are 60-somethings who have been married multiple times, are crap when these bottled pheromones are attracting mosquitoes instead of men, and are total crap when I’ve been on plenty of sites without meeting “the one”
3. Being out with a group of friends, especially on New Years, does not guarantee that I’m going to feel “less single.” Not being single makes you feel less single.
In the mean time, screw it…just go out and have fun doing what ever makes you happy!
1. Catholic Young Adults is not a singles group. I hate going to really ANY Young Adult night only to find out that it’s a bunch of single women and two single guys hoping to find someone. I just want to go to a gathering where I’m with people my own age.
Hey, I am ALL about trying new things and putting yourself out there, but try to avoid going to something with the intention of meeting the one. Be open minded and always look your best, but choose to enjoy the experience rather than finding the most attractive person
2. The stupid statistics are all a bunch of crap! I don’t care if waiting until I’m older for marriage will make my marriage stronger. I don’t care that your site has had a __% success rate, and I really could care less that this product or look is going to make me more attractive and more likely to lure someone of the opposite gender.
Your statistics are crap when it comes to those who got married young and are still married, are crap when there are 60-somethings who have been married multiple times, are crap when these bottled pheromones are attracting mosquitoes instead of men, and are total crap when I’ve been on plenty of sites without meeting “the one”
3. Being out with a group of friends, especially on New Years, does not guarantee that I’m going to feel “less single.” Not being single makes you feel less single.
In the mean time, screw it…just go out and have fun doing what ever makes you happy!
Monday, January 11, 2010
I don't think I ever left high school...
So, I was out with some friends over the weekend and once again began to wonder, Do we ever really leave our high school selves behind? It doesn't matter how much you do, where you go in life, or how together people think you have it...inside, I'm still an insecure teenager.
Why do I do this to myself? I don't know. What I do know is that, while I had a blast on Saturday (there's nothing like a group of teachers who decide to let loose!), I still thought my outfit wasn't "cool enough," I got shot down by a cute tattooed guy, think of your high school badass, when all I was doing was asking about his tattoos *side note: sorry dude, we don't all want you*, and probably came across as the biggest dork to this very attractive 24 year old who thought I was 22 (thanks for your number?!). But as I looked around, I realized I wasn't alone.
All around there were people still trying to fit in, some by acting silly, some by surrounding themselves with those who matter, and others using good ol' alcohol as a confidence booster. Sure, we think that we have it all figured out and that we don't care what other people think...until one person does something that knocks us off our confident adult pedestals right back to our high school selves.
Granted life experiences cause our perspectives to change, we have more responsibilities, we pay bills, and curfew is out the window, although you'd be hard pressed to see us begging to stay up all night. At the same time there's still a piece of us trying to get a seat at the cool table.
Generally speaking, we are still insecure with our appearance, we're still working on cool points, and we still manage to get tongue tied when the "hot guy/girl" approach us (even if it is just to ask for the empty chair at your table).
Kudos to those of you who are reading this thinking, "what the hell is she ranting about?!" In the mean time, this Speech Team Captain/Band Geek is off to see what else life has in store because. While I am still a big dork, unlike in High School, I don't let my dorkiness stop me from joining the party.
Thanks for reading, until the next time...
Why do I do this to myself? I don't know. What I do know is that, while I had a blast on Saturday (there's nothing like a group of teachers who decide to let loose!), I still thought my outfit wasn't "cool enough," I got shot down by a cute tattooed guy, think of your high school badass, when all I was doing was asking about his tattoos *side note: sorry dude, we don't all want you*, and probably came across as the biggest dork to this very attractive 24 year old who thought I was 22 (thanks for your number?!). But as I looked around, I realized I wasn't alone.
All around there were people still trying to fit in, some by acting silly, some by surrounding themselves with those who matter, and others using good ol' alcohol as a confidence booster. Sure, we think that we have it all figured out and that we don't care what other people think...until one person does something that knocks us off our confident adult pedestals right back to our high school selves.
Granted life experiences cause our perspectives to change, we have more responsibilities, we pay bills, and curfew is out the window, although you'd be hard pressed to see us begging to stay up all night. At the same time there's still a piece of us trying to get a seat at the cool table.
Generally speaking, we are still insecure with our appearance, we're still working on cool points, and we still manage to get tongue tied when the "hot guy/girl" approach us (even if it is just to ask for the empty chair at your table).
Kudos to those of you who are reading this thinking, "what the hell is she ranting about?!" In the mean time, this Speech Team Captain/Band Geek is off to see what else life has in store because. While I am still a big dork, unlike in High School, I don't let my dorkiness stop me from joining the party.
Thanks for reading, until the next time...
Am I Really THAT Bad?
A quick update for those of you who are a little curious and have asked the question...
So, the Alabama boy has disappeared off the face of the earth. Is it a taste of my own medicine? Cosmic Karma for ignoring other people? Who knows...
I have sent an e-mail, made another phone call, and nothing. Since Alabama won, we know that either he's not a completely terrible person or that Karma wasn't quite in play on this one :)
In all honesty, this goes so far beyond a girl being bitter. It's not about "I was stood up" and more like, "I really hope he's ok." I know it sounds silly, but I've never experienced someone making plans and totally disappearing off the face of the earth.
Oh well, I'll say a prayer that everything is ok. In the mean time, stay tuned for more adventures to come!
So, the Alabama boy has disappeared off the face of the earth. Is it a taste of my own medicine? Cosmic Karma for ignoring other people? Who knows...
I have sent an e-mail, made another phone call, and nothing. Since Alabama won, we know that either he's not a completely terrible person or that Karma wasn't quite in play on this one :)
In all honesty, this goes so far beyond a girl being bitter. It's not about "I was stood up" and more like, "I really hope he's ok." I know it sounds silly, but I've never experienced someone making plans and totally disappearing off the face of the earth.
Oh well, I'll say a prayer that everything is ok. In the mean time, stay tuned for more adventures to come!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Eyes of Texas are Upon You...
So, here's what I don't understand, too much interest means you're desperate, not enough mean you're not interested. guys, what's the balance?!
Ok, let me start at the begining. I was supposed to meet up with Alabama boy on Monday. He called that he was going to have to postpone to Tuesday because he had been helping a friend all day and he was still working on what ever man-building project they were doing. Ok, cool...I met up with a friend for coffee instead.
I started heading home when I noticed I missed a call from Alabama and decided to call him back. As we were chatting, we realized we were in the same neighborhood, and decided to go ahead and meet up for a quick drink and watch the Fiesta Bowl (hello, why waste a cute outfit?!).
First of all, he was VERY good looking (maybe that's why I'm bothered by this...hahahaha). Things were going well, but he was clearly tired (as in you could see it in his eyes, not in his disinterest). About 20 minutes into our "hang out" or pre-date he asked if I still wanted to do dinner on Tuesday. Why not? Things were going well, I liked his vibe, and we already made plans, so we might as well stick to them.
It started getting late, he said he was worried about me driving so far and said, why don't we end tonight and meet up earlier tomorrow. I agreed. He put my coat on me, held the door open, walked me to my car. I'm thinking, now this is a man who's mama raised him right. A true Southern Gentleman.
We said our goodbyes, and then he called me because he said he wanted to stay on the phone with me to make sure I got home ok. How sweet is that?! I get home, we say our good nights, and the conversation ends with him saying, "Ok sweetheart, have a good night and I'll call you tomorrow."
I'm sure you're thinking, what's the big deal? Things sound great to this point. My sentiments exactly! Not the case. Tuesday came, went, and I never heard from him! Before you jump to conclusions, I know he was busy (he had a few job interviews), so I called him around 5:30pm, no answer, so I left a message.
I worked on a couple of other things and an hour later I didn't hear from him. I called him again. Maybe I screwed that one up, but I did leave a message that was pretty easy going, "Hey, hadn't heard from you and just wanted to touch base before I headed back to Galveston. Let me know if you want to meet up or what's going on. Guess it's your turn to call me. Bye"
Wednesday came and went...still nothing. The guy has become MIA. Seriously...don't know where the H-E-double hockey sticks he went! The worry wart in me is like, is he even okay?! Maybe he wasn't interested, but here's what I don't understand:
1. Why sent up a date on the first date if you didn't want to go out with that person again? Here's the thing about a date. If you don't like the person, don't make a committment! Say, "We'll have to hang out again some time." Locking in a specific date or making set plans means you plan to hang out again.
2. Why bother calling me for almost an hour AFTER parting ways. Again, easy out is to not speak with me at all. Leave it as "I had fun, I'll talk to you soon" and that's that.
3. Why not answer the phone? He didn't even hit the "Ignore" button. At least if I had been Ignored I could say wow, he really didn't like me. I mean, if he was having second thoughts, he should have called me back, say, "I got caught up at work," "had an interview," "flew off to another planet," whatever and then follow up with a vague "we'll have to reschedule some time." (I should keep my mouth shut because now you know all of my excuses! hahahaha...
Now, why the title of this Blog? While everyone knows that I love the Longhorns, I'm asking you to help root for the Longhorns. No, this isn't about Texas Pride.
Apparently he has a bet for Steak Dinners with about 13 different guys. He's the Alabama boy who was talking smack about Texas and everyone else is rooting for the Longhorns. I think in regard to Karma, balance in the Universe, and the fact that "God don't like ugly," it would be quite fitting that, since he stood me up, he could be stuck with buying steak dinners for 13 different guys.
Granted, I do hope everything is ok and nothing major happened to him. He really seems like a good guy. In the mean time, Texas Better Kick some Alabama Butt!!! Just saying...
Ok, let me start at the begining. I was supposed to meet up with Alabama boy on Monday. He called that he was going to have to postpone to Tuesday because he had been helping a friend all day and he was still working on what ever man-building project they were doing. Ok, cool...I met up with a friend for coffee instead.
I started heading home when I noticed I missed a call from Alabama and decided to call him back. As we were chatting, we realized we were in the same neighborhood, and decided to go ahead and meet up for a quick drink and watch the Fiesta Bowl (hello, why waste a cute outfit?!).
First of all, he was VERY good looking (maybe that's why I'm bothered by this...hahahaha). Things were going well, but he was clearly tired (as in you could see it in his eyes, not in his disinterest). About 20 minutes into our "hang out" or pre-date he asked if I still wanted to do dinner on Tuesday. Why not? Things were going well, I liked his vibe, and we already made plans, so we might as well stick to them.
It started getting late, he said he was worried about me driving so far and said, why don't we end tonight and meet up earlier tomorrow. I agreed. He put my coat on me, held the door open, walked me to my car. I'm thinking, now this is a man who's mama raised him right. A true Southern Gentleman.
We said our goodbyes, and then he called me because he said he wanted to stay on the phone with me to make sure I got home ok. How sweet is that?! I get home, we say our good nights, and the conversation ends with him saying, "Ok sweetheart, have a good night and I'll call you tomorrow."
I'm sure you're thinking, what's the big deal? Things sound great to this point. My sentiments exactly! Not the case. Tuesday came, went, and I never heard from him! Before you jump to conclusions, I know he was busy (he had a few job interviews), so I called him around 5:30pm, no answer, so I left a message.
I worked on a couple of other things and an hour later I didn't hear from him. I called him again. Maybe I screwed that one up, but I did leave a message that was pretty easy going, "Hey, hadn't heard from you and just wanted to touch base before I headed back to Galveston. Let me know if you want to meet up or what's going on. Guess it's your turn to call me. Bye"
Wednesday came and went...still nothing. The guy has become MIA. Seriously...don't know where the H-E-double hockey sticks he went! The worry wart in me is like, is he even okay?! Maybe he wasn't interested, but here's what I don't understand:
1. Why sent up a date on the first date if you didn't want to go out with that person again? Here's the thing about a date. If you don't like the person, don't make a committment! Say, "We'll have to hang out again some time." Locking in a specific date or making set plans means you plan to hang out again.
2. Why bother calling me for almost an hour AFTER parting ways. Again, easy out is to not speak with me at all. Leave it as "I had fun, I'll talk to you soon" and that's that.
3. Why not answer the phone? He didn't even hit the "Ignore" button. At least if I had been Ignored I could say wow, he really didn't like me. I mean, if he was having second thoughts, he should have called me back, say, "I got caught up at work," "had an interview," "flew off to another planet," whatever and then follow up with a vague "we'll have to reschedule some time." (I should keep my mouth shut because now you know all of my excuses! hahahaha...
Now, why the title of this Blog? While everyone knows that I love the Longhorns, I'm asking you to help root for the Longhorns. No, this isn't about Texas Pride.
Apparently he has a bet for Steak Dinners with about 13 different guys. He's the Alabama boy who was talking smack about Texas and everyone else is rooting for the Longhorns. I think in regard to Karma, balance in the Universe, and the fact that "God don't like ugly," it would be quite fitting that, since he stood me up, he could be stuck with buying steak dinners for 13 different guys.
Granted, I do hope everything is ok and nothing major happened to him. He really seems like a good guy. In the mean time, Texas Better Kick some Alabama Butt!!! Just saying...
Monday, January 4, 2010
single sassy girl's dating advice
dear men, here are some of my dating tips for you...
The First Date
1. NO MOVIES! seriously...i think movies are good for the third or fourth date, but a movie on the first date is such a bummer. for me, i don't want to spend the night at a movie only to go to dinner with someone i may not even like. for me, movies are a personal thing. i ended up at the movies with a guy wearing a sweatshirt in a hot theater. he was upset that i didn't want to lean on him (um...hello, it's too hot!), and then was really offended when i finally turned to him and said, "would you shut the hell up, everyone's trying to watch the movie). needless to say, there was no second date.
2. keep it casual. i say start with drinks so you have an out if you need it. meeting up for a beverage keeps it casual and then you can move onto the date if you're both feeling the chemistry.
3. a guy should always pay for the first date. no, i'm not a gold digger or a female with archaic views of relationships. it's about the gesture. your first date doesn't have to be expensive...go to an art walk, free movies in the park, etc. just make sure that you pay for anything you do on the first date. if you don't, chances are you won't see a second date
4. have a few suggestions in your back pocket. if you don't drink alcohol and she does, chances are she's going to suggest meeting for drinks at a bar only to feel like a lush when she's drinking at the bar. when the inevitable question comes of "where do you want to meet" offer three suggestions that would make you both comfortable. Coffee house, bar, museum...what ever and where ever it may be, first dates are tough enough without the added pressure of meeting some place that makes you uncomfortable.
5. try not to kiss her on the first date. you may want to, she may want to, doesn't matter...don't do it. again, the first date is a lot of pressure, why add the pressure of a first kiss?
Moving Beyond the First Date
6. NEVER EVER bring up how turned on you were, how you just wanted to make out with her, how you wanted to jump her, or any other way you may eloquently put it. we already think all you're after is the hook up. bringing up anything physical just convinces us that we were right, that's all you're after, and then we start to wonder if we should even bother.
7. if you really like the girl, throw the 3-day rule out the window. trust me on this one. we spend so much time obsessing on "does he like me" that by the third day we've convinced ourselves he wasn't into us and have started moving on.
8. second date is a good time for dinner, but be creative too. bowling, mini-golf, etc. as long as there's a fair warning most things are game. just know that we're probably going to be upset if we wore a dress and heels only to discover that you planned to go bowling.
General Rule of thumb
9. chivalry is NEVER out dated or out of style. Even the most uber-feminist appreciates thoughtfulness. don't go over board with ordering for her, just be sweet and thoughtful. everyone wants to feel special
10. If a girl says she's busy, then she probably just has a busy week. Now, if a girl is dodging your calls, not replying to e-mails and text messages, not commiting to a second date, etc. then she's just not into you. Honestly, we're not much different than guys on that one
ok...that's it. those are my top 10 tips for guys out there. please know that there are exceptions to these tips and that your situation may be different, but i find them to be pretty accurate.
i hope they help or at least amuse. please feel free to chime in...i love reading your comments! thanks for reading and keep spreading the word!
The First Date
1. NO MOVIES! seriously...i think movies are good for the third or fourth date, but a movie on the first date is such a bummer. for me, i don't want to spend the night at a movie only to go to dinner with someone i may not even like. for me, movies are a personal thing. i ended up at the movies with a guy wearing a sweatshirt in a hot theater. he was upset that i didn't want to lean on him (um...hello, it's too hot!), and then was really offended when i finally turned to him and said, "would you shut the hell up, everyone's trying to watch the movie). needless to say, there was no second date.
2. keep it casual. i say start with drinks so you have an out if you need it. meeting up for a beverage keeps it casual and then you can move onto the date if you're both feeling the chemistry.
3. a guy should always pay for the first date. no, i'm not a gold digger or a female with archaic views of relationships. it's about the gesture. your first date doesn't have to be expensive...go to an art walk, free movies in the park, etc. just make sure that you pay for anything you do on the first date. if you don't, chances are you won't see a second date
4. have a few suggestions in your back pocket. if you don't drink alcohol and she does, chances are she's going to suggest meeting for drinks at a bar only to feel like a lush when she's drinking at the bar. when the inevitable question comes of "where do you want to meet" offer three suggestions that would make you both comfortable. Coffee house, bar, museum...what ever and where ever it may be, first dates are tough enough without the added pressure of meeting some place that makes you uncomfortable.
5. try not to kiss her on the first date. you may want to, she may want to, doesn't matter...don't do it. again, the first date is a lot of pressure, why add the pressure of a first kiss?
Moving Beyond the First Date
6. NEVER EVER bring up how turned on you were, how you just wanted to make out with her, how you wanted to jump her, or any other way you may eloquently put it. we already think all you're after is the hook up. bringing up anything physical just convinces us that we were right, that's all you're after, and then we start to wonder if we should even bother.
7. if you really like the girl, throw the 3-day rule out the window. trust me on this one. we spend so much time obsessing on "does he like me" that by the third day we've convinced ourselves he wasn't into us and have started moving on.
8. second date is a good time for dinner, but be creative too. bowling, mini-golf, etc. as long as there's a fair warning most things are game. just know that we're probably going to be upset if we wore a dress and heels only to discover that you planned to go bowling.
General Rule of thumb
9. chivalry is NEVER out dated or out of style. Even the most uber-feminist appreciates thoughtfulness. don't go over board with ordering for her, just be sweet and thoughtful. everyone wants to feel special
10. If a girl says she's busy, then she probably just has a busy week. Now, if a girl is dodging your calls, not replying to e-mails and text messages, not commiting to a second date, etc. then she's just not into you. Honestly, we're not much different than guys on that one
ok...that's it. those are my top 10 tips for guys out there. please know that there are exceptions to these tips and that your situation may be different, but i find them to be pretty accurate.
i hope they help or at least amuse. please feel free to chime in...i love reading your comments! thanks for reading and keep spreading the word!
a note to those married men out there
if you're not sure that you're ready to get married, then don't do it. in the recent month i have had a conversation with several married men who are unsure about their marriage. please know that i think they are all great and am in no way bashing them (so put your clubs away). i just think that we have put so much pressure on ourselves to be married that we're missing the bigger picture and rushing into a relationship.
life is about perspectives, if you're not sure about what you want then take a moment, breathe, and look at the bigger picture. in the end you're going to cause a lot more damage than good.
ok, that's my vent for today. it's a really random one, so you didn't receive an e-mail reminder :)
life is about perspectives, if you're not sure about what you want then take a moment, breathe, and look at the bigger picture. in the end you're going to cause a lot more damage than good.
ok, that's my vent for today. it's a really random one, so you didn't receive an e-mail reminder :)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Ringing in the new year...almost 30 and still just as fabulous!
Thanks for reading...I really appreciate it. Please send the word out so my weird experiences can entertain more readers.
ok, so this story isn't as entertaining as some of my others, but on a night (hello New Years Eve) when you're feeling down about being single, feeling like the third wheel, and around lots of model-esque gals in their early 20s it's easy to think that 2010 is looking as great as 2009 ended.
first i have to set the scene for you. here i am, New Years eve, older than all the girls by at least 5 years, weighing in at least 50lbs heavier than every person in the room, the only girl wearing jeans instead of a black mini-dress, and in a room where I am the only girl under 5'7" (with the exception of me in my heels), I was hit on by the hottest guy in the group.
While he was a couple of years younger, he thought I was facinating, attractive, and charming...lol. i know those of you who are my friends would say, "why wouldn't he" but you're my friends and some days you just need an ego boost.
the night went on and the group decided to head down to the bar aross the street. here we were, he offered to put any of my drinks on his tab (score...free drinks!), but as the night went on the leggy blondes decided to focus on him and of course midnight hit, the model grabbed him for a good make out. at 12:15am he told me I was confusing him because I was so intriguing and then he attempted a make out. now, while I appreciate the compliments, I'm going to pass on a a drunken smoker who claims that he's been on a boat so he's confused about women in general which is why he made out with the other girl. While he may have been the hottest guy in the bar, i just haven't reached that level of desparation.
I may not have the age, the height, or the model looks, but age does bring wisdom and this gal doesn't do sloppy seconds. Any way, when all is said and done, I was still hit on by the hottest guy in the group ;)
I have a coffee date tomorrow, so I'm sure there will be more to tell!
ok, so this story isn't as entertaining as some of my others, but on a night (hello New Years Eve) when you're feeling down about being single, feeling like the third wheel, and around lots of model-esque gals in their early 20s it's easy to think that 2010 is looking as great as 2009 ended.
first i have to set the scene for you. here i am, New Years eve, older than all the girls by at least 5 years, weighing in at least 50lbs heavier than every person in the room, the only girl wearing jeans instead of a black mini-dress, and in a room where I am the only girl under 5'7" (with the exception of me in my heels), I was hit on by the hottest guy in the group.
While he was a couple of years younger, he thought I was facinating, attractive, and charming...lol. i know those of you who are my friends would say, "why wouldn't he" but you're my friends and some days you just need an ego boost.
the night went on and the group decided to head down to the bar aross the street. here we were, he offered to put any of my drinks on his tab (score...free drinks!), but as the night went on the leggy blondes decided to focus on him and of course midnight hit, the model grabbed him for a good make out. at 12:15am he told me I was confusing him because I was so intriguing and then he attempted a make out. now, while I appreciate the compliments, I'm going to pass on a a drunken smoker who claims that he's been on a boat so he's confused about women in general which is why he made out with the other girl. While he may have been the hottest guy in the bar, i just haven't reached that level of desparation.
I may not have the age, the height, or the model looks, but age does bring wisdom and this gal doesn't do sloppy seconds. Any way, when all is said and done, I was still hit on by the hottest guy in the group ;)
I have a coffee date tomorrow, so I'm sure there will be more to tell!
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