Let me start by saything that I feel like I had my very own Carrie Bradshaw "Post It" send off.
So, I met this guy a few weeks ago and we finally decided to meet up on Thursday for a coffee (tea) thing before my meeting. The meet up was great, we hit it off like peas and carrots. We chatted after my meeting and decided to go on a "proper date" on Friday. We were both surprised by how well things were going.
Well, cold weather came through, the snow started, and that was the begining of the end. Some of the pipes in his building bursted, so already that caused a cancellation in our plans. No big deal, it was snowing, we closed early, these things happen. In fact, I would say some of the best things in life start out a little hectic and chaotic, but that's just me and we know that I'm a little quirky like that.
Any way, I digress. So we had fun e-mail exchange, chatted on the phone, talked about how bummed we were, and rescheduled for Saturday after my class, etc. Well, the story gets better. Those plans were done around say 1:30-2pm. All of a sudden I get an e-mail from him at 3:59pm that says:
Zahrah, our connection doesn't feel right to me.
The water is a wake up call.
It's time for me to say goodbye.
Thank you and good luck,
-mr. nutjob
Now I'm all about signs and symbols, but what about the fact that you made a connection with another person. It's hard to date or even make friends post-college, so you should take advantage when they come your way. I have done the girl thing of going through this over and over again in my head, but there's really nothing that I could have done differently. I mean, if he had said, "I'm not attracted to you," "I like someone else," "being around you made me realize that I'm gay," WHATEVER...would have made more sense.
How you go from I'm literally "I've been thinking about you since we met" to "our connection doesn't feel right" within three hours is so far beyond me. Oh well, at least there's something for your reading pleasure! I shall continue fighting the good fight...lol
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Lessons learned on this journey...
While I should be reading reflection papers and preparing for class on Saturday, I just can't concentrate. Maybe it's the anticipation of a Friday Snow Day, I don't know. In the mean time, I'll blog and give you a distraction for later.
First let me say that I hope you enjoying reading my online dating adventures as much as I enjoy sharing. It's cathardic and, in some ways, putting myself out there has become a part of the grieving process. Any way, I've been on the road too much for any significant actual dates, so I thought I'd share some conversations and things I have learned.
1. The police officer trainer. He's a former cop, a little too much of an eager beaver, and definitely a mama's boy. The conversation was great, but we didn't get the chance to meet up. I'm thinking this is a good thing because anyone who calls and texts as often as he did screams needy. I mean, I'm all for talking about my future and the hopes to have a family; HOWEVER, please don't start planning our future together before even meeting me. I mean, yes, I'm sure you would think I'm awesome, but I like to wait until we at least MEET. Also, the prospect of a weekend getaway is fantastic, talking about a weekend getaway (out of the country at that) for the first date...not so much
2. Guys in their early 20s (21-24) want a relationship, guys in their mid to very early 30s (26-32) want to just date around, and guys in their mid 30s and beyond (35+) want to hook up. This is a distinct contradiction to where women are at these ages.
3. The number of men I who are still in relationships but post online profiles never ceases to amaze me. No, I'm not on some adultry website, they're going after the single ladies. I just can't imagine what goes through a person's mind to do that.
4. Apparently the request to see "middles" is some online code for full body photo exchange and then some. Yeah, sorry...go check out Maxim, Playboy, etc. I'll pass on your request, thanks though!
5. I love when guys say, "oh you're Catholic...cool, I used to be Catholic once"
My response is usually slow, "what do you mean used to be Catholic"
Him: "Well, like I used to go to mass and stuff, I was confirmed, I'm just not Catholic any more"
me: Um...I hate to tell you this, but you're still Catholic. You can't become "unCatholic" you don't "de-baptize" or "unconfirm" yourself. You're just not a practicing Catholic any more, but that's your choice.
this conversation goes on for a little while and the conversation usually ends with some kind of scathy reference about Catholic girls and how maybe I can save him. While I am a woman of many powers, I don't know that I can offer that much of a conversion. Sorry buddy, but it's not about me, it's about Him.
6. It doesn't matter what dating website you're on (trust me, i'm on plenty of them), it is still hard to find a good guy. the thing about online dating is that rather than seeing 10 undatables in your social setting you now have hundreds of men who have more issues than a middle aged divorcee support group. Seriously, men love the drama as much if not more than women.
I'll keep fighting the good fight, putting myself out there, and approaching it all with a sense of humor. In the mean time, maybe I need to look at jDate...the jewish boys do love a nice Catholic girl :)
First let me say that I hope you enjoying reading my online dating adventures as much as I enjoy sharing. It's cathardic and, in some ways, putting myself out there has become a part of the grieving process. Any way, I've been on the road too much for any significant actual dates, so I thought I'd share some conversations and things I have learned.
1. The police officer trainer. He's a former cop, a little too much of an eager beaver, and definitely a mama's boy. The conversation was great, but we didn't get the chance to meet up. I'm thinking this is a good thing because anyone who calls and texts as often as he did screams needy. I mean, I'm all for talking about my future and the hopes to have a family; HOWEVER, please don't start planning our future together before even meeting me. I mean, yes, I'm sure you would think I'm awesome, but I like to wait until we at least MEET. Also, the prospect of a weekend getaway is fantastic, talking about a weekend getaway (out of the country at that) for the first date...not so much
2. Guys in their early 20s (21-24) want a relationship, guys in their mid to very early 30s (26-32) want to just date around, and guys in their mid 30s and beyond (35+) want to hook up. This is a distinct contradiction to where women are at these ages.
3. The number of men I who are still in relationships but post online profiles never ceases to amaze me. No, I'm not on some adultry website, they're going after the single ladies. I just can't imagine what goes through a person's mind to do that.
4. Apparently the request to see "middles" is some online code for full body photo exchange and then some. Yeah, sorry...go check out Maxim, Playboy, etc. I'll pass on your request, thanks though!
5. I love when guys say, "oh you're Catholic...cool, I used to be Catholic once"
My response is usually slow, "what do you mean used to be Catholic"
Him: "Well, like I used to go to mass and stuff, I was confirmed, I'm just not Catholic any more"
me: Um...I hate to tell you this, but you're still Catholic. You can't become "unCatholic" you don't "de-baptize" or "unconfirm" yourself. You're just not a practicing Catholic any more, but that's your choice.
this conversation goes on for a little while and the conversation usually ends with some kind of scathy reference about Catholic girls and how maybe I can save him. While I am a woman of many powers, I don't know that I can offer that much of a conversion. Sorry buddy, but it's not about me, it's about Him.
6. It doesn't matter what dating website you're on (trust me, i'm on plenty of them), it is still hard to find a good guy. the thing about online dating is that rather than seeing 10 undatables in your social setting you now have hundreds of men who have more issues than a middle aged divorcee support group. Seriously, men love the drama as much if not more than women.
I'll keep fighting the good fight, putting myself out there, and approaching it all with a sense of humor. In the mean time, maybe I need to look at jDate...the jewish boys do love a nice Catholic girl :)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
all my single ladies....
now put your hands up...lol...
so, here's the question out there, what is it about relationships and the quest to find someone that makes people with a healthy image, self included, feel the need to adapt or compromise who we are for someone who's not even that great?
It's worse when you watch someone who has very low self esteem. The lengths the women (and men) go through to get attention. We can't force someone to like or love us any more than we can stop the tides from rolling in. I see it over and over again...people who compromise appearance, attire, values, morals, etc. just to force a relationship that probably won't last because being in any relationship is better than being alone.
Don't get me wrong, you do compromise in relationships; however, your significant other shouldn't make you compromise who you are to make himself feel better. A healthy relationship (heck, life in general) is all about finding balance.
So where does this pressure for relationship come from? Society? Peers? Self? I think the hard pill for some to swallow in the south is that I'd rather be single and fabulous with great friends than in a mediocre relationship that makes me be less of me.
so, here's the question out there, what is it about relationships and the quest to find someone that makes people with a healthy image, self included, feel the need to adapt or compromise who we are for someone who's not even that great?
It's worse when you watch someone who has very low self esteem. The lengths the women (and men) go through to get attention. We can't force someone to like or love us any more than we can stop the tides from rolling in. I see it over and over again...people who compromise appearance, attire, values, morals, etc. just to force a relationship that probably won't last because being in any relationship is better than being alone.
Don't get me wrong, you do compromise in relationships; however, your significant other shouldn't make you compromise who you are to make himself feel better. A healthy relationship (heck, life in general) is all about finding balance.
So where does this pressure for relationship come from? Society? Peers? Self? I think the hard pill for some to swallow in the south is that I'd rather be single and fabulous with great friends than in a mediocre relationship that makes me be less of me.
virtual rejection sucks...
Ok, this is an old though (i'm behind on my blogging), but I'll update you just the same. I went out with a guy a few weeks ago, date was ok, we talked a bit, but after getting to know him better, I wasn't sure if the chemistry was there.
On top of that, he started sending weird texts, didn't answer his phone but would call back, had lots of odd excues, etc. (things that are probably code for girlfriend).
He is a nice person, but, to be quite honest, he wants a hook up situation and I'm just not into that. I don't care if that's you're thing...more power to you, it's just not my thing.
After a few exchanges the situation went like this
him: "you're a very uptight person"
me: "really?"
him: "yes, I don't think you know how to have fun" (yes, take the code for have fun in guy terms)
me: "um...so I'm guessing that we won't be hanging out again?"
him: "yes, have a nice life" (a tone that came out of no where)
me: "that's fine, i think we have different views of what makes a relationship. good luck"
him: "GOOD BYE"
I'm a resilient girl, but my streaks of things not working out made this one a little hard to swallow. Now, I really wasn't into him, so that's not the issue. Honestly, why go for someone that makes you feel any less awesome than you are or put up with someone you aren't even into? I will say that there's something about virtual rejections that make it a little harder to deal with rather than your traditional face to face, "this isn't working out speech."
Online has developed an outlet for people to be quite bold with "requests" (you want me to what?!), to be more upfront about their feelings, and to recreate the person hiding behind a keyboard. For better or worse, it's interesting to see how technology has affected how we communicate.
On top of that, he started sending weird texts, didn't answer his phone but would call back, had lots of odd excues, etc. (things that are probably code for girlfriend).
He is a nice person, but, to be quite honest, he wants a hook up situation and I'm just not into that. I don't care if that's you're thing...more power to you, it's just not my thing.
After a few exchanges the situation went like this
him: "you're a very uptight person"
me: "really?"
him: "yes, I don't think you know how to have fun" (yes, take the code for have fun in guy terms)
me: "um...so I'm guessing that we won't be hanging out again?"
him: "yes, have a nice life" (a tone that came out of no where)
me: "that's fine, i think we have different views of what makes a relationship. good luck"
him: "GOOD BYE"
I'm a resilient girl, but my streaks of things not working out made this one a little hard to swallow. Now, I really wasn't into him, so that's not the issue. Honestly, why go for someone that makes you feel any less awesome than you are or put up with someone you aren't even into? I will say that there's something about virtual rejections that make it a little harder to deal with rather than your traditional face to face, "this isn't working out speech."
Online has developed an outlet for people to be quite bold with "requests" (you want me to what?!), to be more upfront about their feelings, and to recreate the person hiding behind a keyboard. For better or worse, it's interesting to see how technology has affected how we communicate.
Monday, October 19, 2009
another one bites the dust...
or so that's where i'm pushing him. the date from last friday, while really nice, isn't going the way i had hoped. we had a few text messages this week, were both too busy this week to hang out and both out of town this weekend.
while it's no big deal, here's my thing on dating. if you're interested in someone...i mean really interested, you should at least send an "i'm thinking about you" text. it's not that hard.
i feel like i'm in a cut the crap phase of my life right now. i don't have time for children posing as grown men. the bad thing is this badass attitude is probably a result of me being in NYC. see what even a few moments up here does...lol
seriously though, why should girls stick around for guys who make them feel any less special than they are?
while it's no big deal, here's my thing on dating. if you're interested in someone...i mean really interested, you should at least send an "i'm thinking about you" text. it's not that hard.
i feel like i'm in a cut the crap phase of my life right now. i don't have time for children posing as grown men. the bad thing is this badass attitude is probably a result of me being in NYC. see what even a few moments up here does...lol
seriously though, why should girls stick around for guys who make them feel any less special than they are?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
seriously...
so i was online last night checking e-mails from an online dating site when i received an IM. the guy wasn't my type, but seemed nice, so i figured i'd go ahead and keep chatting him up. all was fine and dandy until the following conversation happened:
me: oh, sorry to hear you had a tough day, hope it gets better
him: thanks. so...do you want to see more pictures of me?
me: um...no, i'm good
him: i have a webcam
me: good for you...
him: i'm 11", you can see for your self
me: nope, i'm good, thanks. i think i have to go
him: so, i guess you're just looking for friends
me: what makes you say that?
him: well, guys on here are only after one thing. if you're not going to get into it then you're just looking for friends
me: so basically, because i dno't want to see you, hook up with you, etc. i'm just looking for friends
him: yep. so...you want to see my webcam?
me: good bye
him: wait...where are you going?
him: what happened?
him: i thought you were interested. you have a pretty smile
me (in my head)...oh, because THAT makes ALL the difference in the world.
I log off and now have a funny story to write for your entertainment today.
For those of you who aren't single, consider yourself lucky. For those of you who are and feel my pain, when did guys get to be so..."interesting"
i'm starting to wonder where can you meet a decent guy out there? the dating scene sure does change as you get older. the only problem is that women are maturing and men are still looking for the nearest hook up. oh well, until the next installment!
me: oh, sorry to hear you had a tough day, hope it gets better
him: thanks. so...do you want to see more pictures of me?
me: um...no, i'm good
him: i have a webcam
me: good for you...
him: i'm 11", you can see for your self
me: nope, i'm good, thanks. i think i have to go
him: so, i guess you're just looking for friends
me: what makes you say that?
him: well, guys on here are only after one thing. if you're not going to get into it then you're just looking for friends
me: so basically, because i dno't want to see you, hook up with you, etc. i'm just looking for friends
him: yep. so...you want to see my webcam?
me: good bye
him: wait...where are you going?
him: what happened?
him: i thought you were interested. you have a pretty smile
me (in my head)...oh, because THAT makes ALL the difference in the world.
I log off and now have a funny story to write for your entertainment today.
For those of you who aren't single, consider yourself lucky. For those of you who are and feel my pain, when did guys get to be so..."interesting"
i'm starting to wonder where can you meet a decent guy out there? the dating scene sure does change as you get older. the only problem is that women are maturing and men are still looking for the nearest hook up. oh well, until the next installment!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Guys are...
a pain in the arse and more confusing than they are worth. seriously, i'm starting to wonder why we even bother. then it happens...you meet someone, you make a connection, and the games start all over again...
well, i had a coffee thing on friday night. it was very impromptu; fortunately i had a cute dress on (SO wouldn't have gone other wise). it was a GREAT hang out, we ended up chatting for a few hours, and now i'm in the inevitable gray area of waiting. the mini-date went well. i had a blast, showed a lot of promise, and then he says he got sick on saturday.
now, i do know his throat was hurting him on Friday, but, here's where the confusion comes into play. good date on Friday night that ended with a kiss (the chemistry was really that good), but that's all. no major juicy story there. Being a guy, he wanted to do more...i said no thanks. he acted a little weird, then seemed ok. we texted each other on Saturday and he did call, everything seemed normal. we texted a little less on Sunday and he said he just didn't feel well and he "needed time to heal"...yes, that's a direct quote. then yesterday, nothing. so we'll see (I hate the waiting game)...i'm thinking cut my losses and move on.
why is it that we have to play this cat and mouse game. i can promise you that, if i don't call, text, or e-mail him for a few days he'll suddenly start contacting me. if i call him up to say hi, i'll become the crazy chick/too needy/blah blah blah.
here's what i want...be honest up front. if you want to call someone, call them. if you're looking for a hook up, then don't pretend you're looking for a relationship (that's a whole new blog entry), etc
in my opinion, games are SO over rated. that is THE fastest way to get me to lose interest. oh well...thanks for reading and i'll keep you posted on if we see a second date.
well, i had a coffee thing on friday night. it was very impromptu; fortunately i had a cute dress on (SO wouldn't have gone other wise). it was a GREAT hang out, we ended up chatting for a few hours, and now i'm in the inevitable gray area of waiting. the mini-date went well. i had a blast, showed a lot of promise, and then he says he got sick on saturday.
now, i do know his throat was hurting him on Friday, but, here's where the confusion comes into play. good date on Friday night that ended with a kiss (the chemistry was really that good), but that's all. no major juicy story there. Being a guy, he wanted to do more...i said no thanks. he acted a little weird, then seemed ok. we texted each other on Saturday and he did call, everything seemed normal. we texted a little less on Sunday and he said he just didn't feel well and he "needed time to heal"...yes, that's a direct quote. then yesterday, nothing. so we'll see (I hate the waiting game)...i'm thinking cut my losses and move on.
why is it that we have to play this cat and mouse game. i can promise you that, if i don't call, text, or e-mail him for a few days he'll suddenly start contacting me. if i call him up to say hi, i'll become the crazy chick/too needy/blah blah blah.
here's what i want...be honest up front. if you want to call someone, call them. if you're looking for a hook up, then don't pretend you're looking for a relationship (that's a whole new blog entry), etc
in my opinion, games are SO over rated. that is THE fastest way to get me to lose interest. oh well...thanks for reading and i'll keep you posted on if we see a second date.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
*sigh* Yes, I'm Catholic...*sigh and rolling eyes* Yes, I go to Church
Well, I'm still here...hope you're enjoying my little blog. It's really nothing major but a funny way to update you on my dating life and, if you're bored, give you a good laugh.
So, as you know, I work in Youth Ministry. Well, my latest meet up is someone who wants to leave his full time job to get into ministry (be careful what you wish for!). The first e-mail he sent me talked about how much he loved God and loved Praise and Worship Music.
I'm still trying to figure out why guys feel the need to jump into what I call "God Talk" aside from it being a way to break the ice. Any way, I get all sorts of questions and statements on a regular basis. So much so that there have been times when theological discussions have ensued at the bar (not so bad when you get someone to get involved in his or her faith life again).
For your reading pleasure, I have decided to give you a list of the top 10 statements and questions others feel the need to ask:
1. You must be really religious, do you go to church every Sunday?
A: Um...if you belong to a particular faith, it's a good idea to practice it. I kinda have
to practice what I preach any way...lol
2. Are you studying to become a nun?
A: Nope
3. I've heard about you Catholic girls...you must be "fun" (said with creepy look)
A: Well I am a fun person, but if you're looking for a hook up...good luck buddy
4. I really like all types of music, especially Praise and Worship, how about you?
A: Um...well, anyone who knows me knows that I lust John Mayer (hahahaha), I also like
blues, jazz, rock, hip hop, R&B, classical, opera, musical theater, and the list goes on.
Yes, I can listen to hip hop...no, its not Christian Rap
5. So, you must be really conservative...
A: Define Conservative? I think I fall more on the liberal end though...
6. How do you feel about Muslims?
A: Great...my dad is one of them :) Dude, seriously...they aren't all killers and, if I
remember correctly, weren't the crusades lead by Christians? Were Nazi's Muslim?
7. What's your take on "gays" (I HATE THAT ONE)
A: I love the gays, I mean, hellooooo...
Now if you're asking about my stance on gay marriage and gay rights, I say why
not? Then again...I'm never going to tell my best friend he shouldn't get married to
his Boyfriend. Oh, you think gay people are going to Hell? Yeah...that's the end of
our date
8. How can you be Catholic? Aren't priest pedephiles?
A: How can you have friends? Aren't you an ass? lol...no, seriously, I hate that question
even if its supposed to be a joke
9. Maybe you can make me go to church?
A: Well if you want to join me some time, sure...there's always plenty of room.
sidenote: Why is this supposed to impress me?
10. And my favorite: I was Catholic once, but the church is full of hypocrites/I wasn't
getting anything out of mass
A: The church is full of human people. We're all hypocritical at some point in our
lives...in fact, you've probably gotten that from a friend. Does that stop you from
meeting new people?
A: If you aren't getting anything from mass, 1. What are you putting into it? 2. What
are you doing to make a change? 3. Why don't you find a parish/mass time that you
like better?
Hope you got a good laugh. Don't worry, there are plenty more of those statments!
So, as you know, I work in Youth Ministry. Well, my latest meet up is someone who wants to leave his full time job to get into ministry (be careful what you wish for!). The first e-mail he sent me talked about how much he loved God and loved Praise and Worship Music.
I'm still trying to figure out why guys feel the need to jump into what I call "God Talk" aside from it being a way to break the ice. Any way, I get all sorts of questions and statements on a regular basis. So much so that there have been times when theological discussions have ensued at the bar (not so bad when you get someone to get involved in his or her faith life again).
For your reading pleasure, I have decided to give you a list of the top 10 statements and questions others feel the need to ask:
1. You must be really religious, do you go to church every Sunday?
A: Um...if you belong to a particular faith, it's a good idea to practice it. I kinda have
to practice what I preach any way...lol
2. Are you studying to become a nun?
A: Nope
3. I've heard about you Catholic girls...you must be "fun" (said with creepy look)
A: Well I am a fun person, but if you're looking for a hook up...good luck buddy
4. I really like all types of music, especially Praise and Worship, how about you?
A: Um...well, anyone who knows me knows that I lust John Mayer (hahahaha), I also like
blues, jazz, rock, hip hop, R&B, classical, opera, musical theater, and the list goes on.
Yes, I can listen to hip hop...no, its not Christian Rap
5. So, you must be really conservative...
A: Define Conservative? I think I fall more on the liberal end though...
6. How do you feel about Muslims?
A: Great...my dad is one of them :) Dude, seriously...they aren't all killers and, if I
remember correctly, weren't the crusades lead by Christians? Were Nazi's Muslim?
7. What's your take on "gays" (I HATE THAT ONE)
A: I love the gays, I mean, hellooooo...
Now if you're asking about my stance on gay marriage and gay rights, I say why
not? Then again...I'm never going to tell my best friend he shouldn't get married to
his Boyfriend. Oh, you think gay people are going to Hell? Yeah...that's the end of
our date
8. How can you be Catholic? Aren't priest pedephiles?
A: How can you have friends? Aren't you an ass? lol...no, seriously, I hate that question
even if its supposed to be a joke
9. Maybe you can make me go to church?
A: Well if you want to join me some time, sure...there's always plenty of room.
sidenote: Why is this supposed to impress me?
10. And my favorite: I was Catholic once, but the church is full of hypocrites/I wasn't
getting anything out of mass
A: The church is full of human people. We're all hypocritical at some point in our
lives...in fact, you've probably gotten that from a friend. Does that stop you from
meeting new people?
A: If you aren't getting anything from mass, 1. What are you putting into it? 2. What
are you doing to make a change? 3. Why don't you find a parish/mass time that you
like better?
Hope you got a good laugh. Don't worry, there are plenty more of those statments!
Monday, September 21, 2009
A Weekend of Fun
so, this has very little to do with dating, but it's pretty funny...
I had a ver interesting weekend, but more than anything i want to know, who the hell thinks it's ok to drink yourself stupid then pick a fight?!
first of all, one of these guys couldn't be more WT. he was a "people should only marry within the race, i hate muslims, arabs are evil, blah blah blah..." look dude, Navy or no Navy, there's really no excuse for small-mindedness. Anyway, tweedle dum and duh started drinking then proceeded to shots. the group agrees to go out to the beach because the birthday boy wanted to fish on the beach.
well, the two jackass guys decided it would be a good idea to see who's magic stick was bigger. then once, the larger guy was established, it became a "whos balls were bigger" two grown ass men showing their peni (plural for penis) to each other. i can't imagine how traumatized the camping family was.
drunkie #1 kept getting in my face to tell me how "beautiful my eyes were" then he touched my earrings and said, "i really like your earrings" to which I kindly replied, "Brotha, you don't know me. Touch me again and I will knock your ass out." Drunk #1 finally stopped jocking me and backed off...lol
From here the stooges started play fighting on the beach. in between, these guys finished their liquor (who knows how much they drank). sure enough, play fighting escalated and these two assinine guys got into a realfight, ruined a friends birthday, and ruined a REALLY nice time on the beach.
one guy had to be baby sat down stairs while i had to babysit upstairs. to make matters worse those dang fools wouldn't go to sleep, so i stayed up until almost 4am baby sitting a grown ass man. i went from a kind person to the warden all in a few moments...lol. seriously...i think one phrase was something like, "if your drunk ass jumps down the rail, you're on your own and good luck"
this is one girl who SO doesn't do the drama. the plus side was making a new friend, sitting on the porch talking until 7am and eating a "fruit salad" from all of the fruit from my sangeria...hahaha
needless to say, i was a little tired the next day and it was a TOTAL F my life moment. Oh the memories...such fun!
Oddly enough, even though I worked all weekend and dealt with the drama, it was so nice to be at the Beach House/on the beach with people my own age. Maybe my luck will start to take a turn for the better...
I had a ver interesting weekend, but more than anything i want to know, who the hell thinks it's ok to drink yourself stupid then pick a fight?!
first of all, one of these guys couldn't be more WT. he was a "people should only marry within the race, i hate muslims, arabs are evil, blah blah blah..." look dude, Navy or no Navy, there's really no excuse for small-mindedness. Anyway, tweedle dum and duh started drinking then proceeded to shots. the group agrees to go out to the beach because the birthday boy wanted to fish on the beach.
well, the two jackass guys decided it would be a good idea to see who's magic stick was bigger. then once, the larger guy was established, it became a "whos balls were bigger" two grown ass men showing their peni (plural for penis) to each other. i can't imagine how traumatized the camping family was.
drunkie #1 kept getting in my face to tell me how "beautiful my eyes were" then he touched my earrings and said, "i really like your earrings" to which I kindly replied, "Brotha, you don't know me. Touch me again and I will knock your ass out." Drunk #1 finally stopped jocking me and backed off...lol
From here the stooges started play fighting on the beach. in between, these guys finished their liquor (who knows how much they drank). sure enough, play fighting escalated and these two assinine guys got into a realfight, ruined a friends birthday, and ruined a REALLY nice time on the beach.
one guy had to be baby sat down stairs while i had to babysit upstairs. to make matters worse those dang fools wouldn't go to sleep, so i stayed up until almost 4am baby sitting a grown ass man. i went from a kind person to the warden all in a few moments...lol. seriously...i think one phrase was something like, "if your drunk ass jumps down the rail, you're on your own and good luck"
this is one girl who SO doesn't do the drama. the plus side was making a new friend, sitting on the porch talking until 7am and eating a "fruit salad" from all of the fruit from my sangeria...hahaha
needless to say, i was a little tired the next day and it was a TOTAL F my life moment. Oh the memories...such fun!
Oddly enough, even though I worked all weekend and dealt with the drama, it was so nice to be at the Beach House/on the beach with people my own age. Maybe my luck will start to take a turn for the better...
WTF....SERIOUSLY?!
So, met a guy online, seemed nice enough. He saw a few more pictures and then our e-mail exchange became the following:
Douchie guy "You look like you could get into trouble"
Me: "What's that supposed to me"
Douchie guy: "Oh nothing, just that you are a little devious"
Me: "And just what does that mean?"
Douchie guy: "That you'd be fun and a girl who knows how to have a good time and cause some trouble"
Me: "Look dude, are you looking for a hook up? Because seriously, if you are, you're barking up the wrong tree. Go find a girl looking for the hook up because I'm looking for the real deal."
Douchie guy: "Uh, no...that's not what I meant, just thought you'd be fun to um...hang out with"
Me: "Oh ok, because that's not the vibe I was getting from you, sorry if I assumed the wrong thing"
Douchie guy: "Yeah, um...I just thought you know, we could "hang out" because you could be a good time"
Me: "Like, to hang out, right? Then sure, I'm game"
Douchie guy: "Well, what do you like? You know...what do you like to do? Are you a "Fun girl" or a little dirty"
Me: Good bye...
Douchie guy "You look like you could get into trouble"
Me: "What's that supposed to me"
Douchie guy: "Oh nothing, just that you are a little devious"
Me: "And just what does that mean?"
Douchie guy: "That you'd be fun and a girl who knows how to have a good time and cause some trouble"
Me: "Look dude, are you looking for a hook up? Because seriously, if you are, you're barking up the wrong tree. Go find a girl looking for the hook up because I'm looking for the real deal."
Douchie guy: "Uh, no...that's not what I meant, just thought you'd be fun to um...hang out with"
Me: "Oh ok, because that's not the vibe I was getting from you, sorry if I assumed the wrong thing"
Douchie guy: "Yeah, um...I just thought you know, we could "hang out" because you could be a good time"
Me: "Like, to hang out, right? Then sure, I'm game"
Douchie guy: "Well, what do you like? You know...what do you like to do? Are you a "Fun girl" or a little dirty"
Me: Good bye...
Rico Suave
So I had a mini-stalker on match. He had been asking me out and I had been avoiding him for months...finally, after e-mails and feeling bad I finally say, "OKAY, I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU." Okay, you got me...I didn't scream at him, but my inner self sure did. So I agreed to meet up with him at one of my favorite bars (free drinks, why not?!)
Here's how the date went. I walked up and noticed he was talking to a girl. I'm thinking, maybe he brought a friend and we were looking at a friend thing. She walked off as soon as I got there and then he said she was a weird-o that wouldn't leave him alone (birds of a feather).
We go to the bar and grab a few beers. Ok, it's already a bad sign when you are chattier with the bartender than your own date. Any way, I digress...
We went out...conversation was ok, not spectacular, but ok. Then, when I finished my drink, the waitress asked if we wanted another round. He was polite; HOWERVER, when I couldn't remember my drink, he said, you need to just drink what I'm drinking. I resisited, he insisted...not going so great.
Then, I knew it was going down hill when a group of middle-aged beer bellied men arrived to do a beer tasting and, sadly, this group was more interesting to watch than the conversation. I'm a chatty girl and there were very significant lulls in the conversation. Ok, time goes on like this, I keep drinking, and then decided I need to go.
Well, he decides to walk me to my car (great). We're there, he leans in for the kiss.
1. the kiss was a TOTAL surprise.
2. he SLOBBERED ON MY FACE!!!!!
YES, I had to wipe around my mouth to get the slobber off. THEN, he went in for a second kiss. that time I managed to escape the slobber.
Well, my drive home was followed by a phone call. The week since the date included dodging like 3 dates, rescheduling, and he is STILL insisting on going out. Hopefully he's finally gotten the hint, but, if not and I go out again, I'll have to make sure to bring napkins because I'm sure I'll be in store for another slobber-filled kiss.
Here's how the date went. I walked up and noticed he was talking to a girl. I'm thinking, maybe he brought a friend and we were looking at a friend thing. She walked off as soon as I got there and then he said she was a weird-o that wouldn't leave him alone (birds of a feather).
We go to the bar and grab a few beers. Ok, it's already a bad sign when you are chattier with the bartender than your own date. Any way, I digress...
We went out...conversation was ok, not spectacular, but ok. Then, when I finished my drink, the waitress asked if we wanted another round. He was polite; HOWERVER, when I couldn't remember my drink, he said, you need to just drink what I'm drinking. I resisited, he insisted...not going so great.
Then, I knew it was going down hill when a group of middle-aged beer bellied men arrived to do a beer tasting and, sadly, this group was more interesting to watch than the conversation. I'm a chatty girl and there were very significant lulls in the conversation. Ok, time goes on like this, I keep drinking, and then decided I need to go.
Well, he decides to walk me to my car (great). We're there, he leans in for the kiss.
1. the kiss was a TOTAL surprise.
2. he SLOBBERED ON MY FACE!!!!!
YES, I had to wipe around my mouth to get the slobber off. THEN, he went in for a second kiss. that time I managed to escape the slobber.
Well, my drive home was followed by a phone call. The week since the date included dodging like 3 dates, rescheduling, and he is STILL insisting on going out. Hopefully he's finally gotten the hint, but, if not and I go out again, I'll have to make sure to bring napkins because I'm sure I'll be in store for another slobber-filled kiss.
so...new dating
well, i'm officially on my free 6months of match.com. Dr. Phil is staying true to his promise, so I'm trying to stay open minded.
Obviously I didn't meet any keepers during my "paid time" and the free stuff isn't looking much better. Then again, you get what you pay for in life! hahahaha...
Here's the thing about online dating...you really just don't know what you're going to get. i mean, you think a guy is going to be decent then you realize the pictures he posted were about 15 years old. you go looking for one person only to find an older less fun version of himself.
we met up for dinner (hey, he's paying and a girls gotta eat). total friends vibe. i have to say, i think he was a little disappointed, but hey, at least i look like my photos. to make matters worse, i come to find that he has no ambition, doesn't like his job but is too unmotivated to do anything about it, and is a jaded male who swears his friends "put him up to it." I mean, he was nice enough, but I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't really attracted to him (we all know I'm psuedo shallow), the things I found interesting, he thought were boring, and, while the date conversation was decent, there was definitely a "just friends" vibe. over all, I'd give the date:
3 stars for food
3.5 stars for conversation
2 stars for romantic vibes
would I go out with him again? nah, probably not...I hope he finds someone he's looking for
Obviously I didn't meet any keepers during my "paid time" and the free stuff isn't looking much better. Then again, you get what you pay for in life! hahahaha...
Here's the thing about online dating...you really just don't know what you're going to get. i mean, you think a guy is going to be decent then you realize the pictures he posted were about 15 years old. you go looking for one person only to find an older less fun version of himself.
we met up for dinner (hey, he's paying and a girls gotta eat). total friends vibe. i have to say, i think he was a little disappointed, but hey, at least i look like my photos. to make matters worse, i come to find that he has no ambition, doesn't like his job but is too unmotivated to do anything about it, and is a jaded male who swears his friends "put him up to it." I mean, he was nice enough, but I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't really attracted to him (we all know I'm psuedo shallow), the things I found interesting, he thought were boring, and, while the date conversation was decent, there was definitely a "just friends" vibe. over all, I'd give the date:
3 stars for food
3.5 stars for conversation
2 stars for romantic vibes
would I go out with him again? nah, probably not...I hope he finds someone he's looking for
Date and Regurgitate
So, a lot has happened in the year of 28. I have decided that, as I embrace 29, celebrate what's left in my 20s, and jump full force back into the dating world, I thought I'd share a bit of my experiences with you.
Can't say that I have to most interesting dating experiences, but I'm definitely going to be honest. Whether it's positive or negative, it's definitely me. Who knows, maybe I'll even end up surprising myself!
-z-
Can't say that I have to most interesting dating experiences, but I'm definitely going to be honest. Whether it's positive or negative, it's definitely me. Who knows, maybe I'll even end up surprising myself!
-z-
Thursday, February 26, 2009
an awesome lenten jewel
If you aren't sure what to do for Lent, you may want to check this out. Busted Halo has done a FANTASTIC job in trying to develop some daily things you can do that deal with the three small words: fast, prayer, service
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