While I should be reading reflection papers and preparing for class on Saturday, I just can't concentrate. Maybe it's the anticipation of a Friday Snow Day, I don't know. In the mean time, I'll blog and give you a distraction for later.
First let me say that I hope you enjoying reading my online dating adventures as much as I enjoy sharing. It's cathardic and, in some ways, putting myself out there has become a part of the grieving process. Any way, I've been on the road too much for any significant actual dates, so I thought I'd share some conversations and things I have learned.
1. The police officer trainer. He's a former cop, a little too much of an eager beaver, and definitely a mama's boy. The conversation was great, but we didn't get the chance to meet up. I'm thinking this is a good thing because anyone who calls and texts as often as he did screams needy. I mean, I'm all for talking about my future and the hopes to have a family; HOWEVER, please don't start planning our future together before even meeting me. I mean, yes, I'm sure you would think I'm awesome, but I like to wait until we at least MEET. Also, the prospect of a weekend getaway is fantastic, talking about a weekend getaway (out of the country at that) for the first date...not so much
2. Guys in their early 20s (21-24) want a relationship, guys in their mid to very early 30s (26-32) want to just date around, and guys in their mid 30s and beyond (35+) want to hook up. This is a distinct contradiction to where women are at these ages.
3. The number of men I who are still in relationships but post online profiles never ceases to amaze me. No, I'm not on some adultry website, they're going after the single ladies. I just can't imagine what goes through a person's mind to do that.
4. Apparently the request to see "middles" is some online code for full body photo exchange and then some. Yeah, sorry...go check out Maxim, Playboy, etc. I'll pass on your request, thanks though!
5. I love when guys say, "oh you're Catholic...cool, I used to be Catholic once"
My response is usually slow, "what do you mean used to be Catholic"
Him: "Well, like I used to go to mass and stuff, I was confirmed, I'm just not Catholic any more"
me: Um...I hate to tell you this, but you're still Catholic. You can't become "unCatholic" you don't "de-baptize" or "unconfirm" yourself. You're just not a practicing Catholic any more, but that's your choice.
this conversation goes on for a little while and the conversation usually ends with some kind of scathy reference about Catholic girls and how maybe I can save him. While I am a woman of many powers, I don't know that I can offer that much of a conversion. Sorry buddy, but it's not about me, it's about Him.
6. It doesn't matter what dating website you're on (trust me, i'm on plenty of them), it is still hard to find a good guy. the thing about online dating is that rather than seeing 10 undatables in your social setting you now have hundreds of men who have more issues than a middle aged divorcee support group. Seriously, men love the drama as much if not more than women.
I'll keep fighting the good fight, putting myself out there, and approaching it all with a sense of humor. In the mean time, maybe I need to look at jDate...the jewish boys do love a nice Catholic girl :)
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Awesome observations. I find the forums on okc to be what I like to go on the most.
ReplyDeleteBaby... you can be my girl crush! ;-)
ReplyDeleteHey Z, Totally love your insights and I for one appreciate that you put yourself out there for the world to see. It takes a lot of courage and drive to say what's on your mind and to do it with no regrets .. Go!!! Z .. Anyway .. i thought since we are on the subject I would put my two cents in ... and of course I'll break it down point by point ... just cause it's easy that way for me ... wink.
ReplyDelete1. I'm in agreement with you on the Fireman and his needy ways. I would think someone with all that time to text/call you like that is more of an attention hound than someone you can share your time with in a healthy way. Mind you there are people who are attracted to that, not me mind you .. but they are out there. So I'm guessing since that's not your thing .. you would be moving on.
2. I have to say on this one, Z, we part ways, I can't say that your male time table is on point for me and I'm betting other guys out there like me would agree, your time table over simplifies the field forcing one to conclude that guys are nothing but horn dogs as they get older. I for one believe that some guys are truly looking for a good old honest loving/caring healthy relationship, those are the ones who are truly honest with themselves. I'm sure there are guys who are still in "child" mood, like Tiger Woods, who comes to mind, who marry and still think they can play the field. The saddest part for him is he has kids who will suffer making it even worse .. so moving on .. to put my personal slant on this one, I loved someone once, and know what it's like to love someone while in another relationship .. I had to come to terms with it and leave my ex after four and half years. It was tough for me at first, but it's been three years now outside that relationship and my ex and I have done well in maintaining our friendship. The lessons I learned from that is to stay true to who you are and how you feel, don't just stick with it, thinking you will change, because unless there is something other than sex,money,fame or whatever .. keeping you ... then end it early for the sake of both parties involved. Although, if you think you can work toward resolving what is missing agree that if it doesn't work, DON'T FORCE IT. Anyway with that said, you should look to revise that one,Z, because I have a few guys who don't fit that mold one bit. *Smile*
Continued ..
Continues ...
ReplyDelete3. Let's face it, guys who are in relationships and are still looking, are "DOGS". And should do their partner a favor and end it sooner rather than later. Guys who aren't honest with themselves do more harm to themselves than their partner .. in my opinion .. since they have to live a lie, while their partner walks around blind and content that they are in a healthy relationship. So for those guys, who lie to themselves .. move on .. in time they will understand .. It worked for me.
4. Actually Z, here's another one I have to part ways with you, I think it's great to put your self out there for your potentials to see, this way it will weed out all those uninterested in meeting you based on your looks. But on second thought for women that's a tough one, since what ever you post, may equate to some as "soft porn" which in that case .. I say .. let them be surprised and pass on the full body shot.. But for me, I would just post my head shot and leave it to them to pick me if they like. but I'm still single so I guess I better work on that one. wink.
5.I'm glad you don't have those types of powers to convert anyone to catholic in just a touch, cause I'm sure the military would have a place for you in our current war. Just think of the thousands of lives you would save, by doing mass muslim to catholic conversions .. LoL. Anyway, it's obvious this guy is way out of his league and tried hard to impress, while making a fool of himself.. must be that "Z" Charm that made him like that.. wink. or the baked goods .. LoL
6. Nope men don't like the drama, they just have to put up with it, cause they like having baked goods regularly. I'm not sure why drama is looked on as being bad for most and good for others in a relationship. There will always be differences, and in a healthy relationship both will respect the other's opinion regardless .. so why the drama? I don't get it.
Anyway, glad you posted something new, for me to piggy back on to .. it's fun .. keep them coming...
John
1. Do you have to pay for this page?
ReplyDelete2. Creepy Cop
3. Jewish + Catholic = divorce
4. I don't get the Catholic thing. You can change your mind, can't you?
5. Are you coming to Dickens? I have a wristband for you if so.
I wish I had time to date... of course I'm still even interested in women or not (did I mention my doc put me on hormones? it's been interesting). A little worried about winding up in a Brokeback Marriage.
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, enjoy reading the blog for the vicarious adventuring. =)
~G
no, skim, this page is free...lol
ReplyDeletein terms of my observations, they are complete generalizations. While some are a little more on point with my experiences, there are acceptions to every one.
I love reading comments and hope all of you can see the humor in my posts...great stuff!
Ditto
ReplyDelete