Sunday, April 21, 2013
virtual rejection sucks...
i mean, obviously rejection of any kind sucks, but when it happens virtually, you feel like a real "winner"
Thursday, April 28, 2011
what do texts, walks, and bars have in common?
So I went out with this guy who was seemingly into me. He told me how much he liked me, there was plenty of flirtatious talk, and I was just trying to take things one step at a time. We were definitely walking the line between dating and friendship, but it looked like we were starting to go more into the dating world.
Well, everything seemed fine and then, seemingly out of the blue, I received a text message that said we should just be friends. There were a few more text messages sent back and forth, but it was more me being quite straight forward and a little bit of "you're loss" mixed in there.
I of course did the female beat up of, "what's wrong with me, what did i do wrong, how should i have played this differently." I had a few days of beating myself up and then got over it. I couldn't understand how someone who was so into you could suddenly flip a switch. Then, on Tuesday, I had an epiphany...he must have met someone but didn't want to say anything. I mean, it's not like we were exclusive.
Well, sure enough, my guy instinct was correct! I was walking to the train last night, as so many New Yorkers do. I passed a good amount of bars (it IS New York City), managed to look up, and noticed that he was in a bar with another girl...
Not to sound like a whiney or jaded girl, but how did I get to be so good at picking the wrong ones for me?
Well, everything seemed fine and then, seemingly out of the blue, I received a text message that said we should just be friends. There were a few more text messages sent back and forth, but it was more me being quite straight forward and a little bit of "you're loss" mixed in there.
I of course did the female beat up of, "what's wrong with me, what did i do wrong, how should i have played this differently." I had a few days of beating myself up and then got over it. I couldn't understand how someone who was so into you could suddenly flip a switch. Then, on Tuesday, I had an epiphany...he must have met someone but didn't want to say anything. I mean, it's not like we were exclusive.
Well, sure enough, my guy instinct was correct! I was walking to the train last night, as so many New Yorkers do. I passed a good amount of bars (it IS New York City), managed to look up, and noticed that he was in a bar with another girl...
Not to sound like a whiney or jaded girl, but how did I get to be so good at picking the wrong ones for me?
how shallow am i?
so, i know that we have a long list of qualities we want to find in Mr. or Ms Right, but, while we're on the search for the right person for us, our list changes. As I've gotten older, I've tried to shrink my list to five things.
1. Good Sense of Humor
2. Catholic
3. Loves music
4. Family Person
5. Nice eyes/smile
seems like a good list on paper. Now there are some other pieces, like, he needs to be able to have a real conversation, i can't stand when people write "your" instead of "you're", when they complain about EVERYTHING, etc. Lately, I've realized how, no matter how much you try to shrink that list, you can't really keep it down to a list of 5.
superficial and shallow I can be.
I am a self proclaimed sizest. No, I don't mean in the sense of package or weight, but definitely a height sizest. I know I'm not that tall (5'4" on a good day), but I can't really date a guy who's shorter than 5'10"
You're probably laughing at me right now, but it's true. The other day I went out with a nice guy, he's a lawyer, he was chatty, and he thought I was a bit of a catch, but the entire time I kept thinking...he says that he's 5'8" but there's not a snowball's chance in hell that he's over 5'6". I wasn't feeling the chemistry and then the height just kept bugging me.
I guess the fact that most of my family is vertically challenged makes me want to give my future kids the best height chances they can get!
1. Good Sense of Humor
2. Catholic
3. Loves music
4. Family Person
5. Nice eyes/smile
seems like a good list on paper. Now there are some other pieces, like, he needs to be able to have a real conversation, i can't stand when people write "your" instead of "you're", when they complain about EVERYTHING, etc. Lately, I've realized how, no matter how much you try to shrink that list, you can't really keep it down to a list of 5.
superficial and shallow I can be.
I am a self proclaimed sizest. No, I don't mean in the sense of package or weight, but definitely a height sizest. I know I'm not that tall (5'4" on a good day), but I can't really date a guy who's shorter than 5'10"
You're probably laughing at me right now, but it's true. The other day I went out with a nice guy, he's a lawyer, he was chatty, and he thought I was a bit of a catch, but the entire time I kept thinking...he says that he's 5'8" but there's not a snowball's chance in hell that he's over 5'6". I wasn't feeling the chemistry and then the height just kept bugging me.
I guess the fact that most of my family is vertically challenged makes me want to give my future kids the best height chances they can get!
no wonder guys are so screwed up!
seriously! I recently read a GQ article giving advice to men, suggesting that they barter sexual favors for helping out at home. When will you guys realize that women don't work like that?!
The article suggests that men should barter...
"I'll do the dishes if you'll have sex with me later"
"I'll help the kids with their homework and you give me a bj later"
"What's a trip to the grocery store going to get me?"...you know what it's going to get you?! food, that's what it will get you.
When will men realize that women are far more emotional than physical. I mean, this isn't something new and it isn't rocket science. Men, if you do the dishes, help the kids, go to the store, etc without your wife nagging you, you're not goin to get extra loving because you had to barter your way through. She'll love you because you did those things which means it's one less thing for her to stress about, she has a little more energy because she wasn't around doing the job of 10 people, and it just reminds her why she loves you so much.
If you're complaint is that you want more action then do things for her before she asks. After all, the rules of childhood haven't changed. If you wanted to get on your mom's good side, you made sure to do something nice for her (such as clean your room).
Yes, it is a type of bartering, but it's less an act of formal bartering/salesmanship and more about acts of a loving relationship.
The article suggests that men should barter...
"I'll do the dishes if you'll have sex with me later"
"I'll help the kids with their homework and you give me a bj later"
"What's a trip to the grocery store going to get me?"...you know what it's going to get you?! food, that's what it will get you.
When will men realize that women are far more emotional than physical. I mean, this isn't something new and it isn't rocket science. Men, if you do the dishes, help the kids, go to the store, etc without your wife nagging you, you're not goin to get extra loving because you had to barter your way through. She'll love you because you did those things which means it's one less thing for her to stress about, she has a little more energy because she wasn't around doing the job of 10 people, and it just reminds her why she loves you so much.
If you're complaint is that you want more action then do things for her before she asks. After all, the rules of childhood haven't changed. If you wanted to get on your mom's good side, you made sure to do something nice for her (such as clean your room).
Yes, it is a type of bartering, but it's less an act of formal bartering/salesmanship and more about acts of a loving relationship.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
hate it when...
guy calls you and you get all gushy.
there's always that person who's totally wrong for you, your rational self knows that you should JUST STAY AWAY, but the dang honkin' double XX chromosome that makes us the fabulous women that we are is also the one that lets us give him just one more chance. As for my male readers out there, it's the "sensitive side" or the X chromosome in your XY make up that let's you give her just one more chance.
My theory is that we're all looking for love and to give love. Agape, one of my favorite words, is that unconditional, self-sacrificing, love. Whether you're religious or not, it's a full accepting and embracing love that we're always seeking to give and receive.
Yes, it's so important to have love in your life and people who love you, but we also have this strong desire to share ourselves with others...to give that unconditional love.
In singles-ville, that desire to give unconditional love tends to manifest itself in a lot of the wrong people who we keep letting back into our lives. As frustrating as it can be for our friends and family to watch, the only time Mr/Ms. Wrong gets the boot is when we finally come to our senses and realize that, no matter what, you have done all you can to love that person and they will never love you the way you deserve to be loved.
At the end of the day, while totally sucks to realize that you have spend your time loving someone who can never give you what you deserve; taking a chance on love will always open your heart to so much more later on down the road.
If you get a break through with that person and go into a great relationship, that's so awesome! I couldn't be happier for you (really truly). If you end up with a break up, surround yourself with friends, have a few cocktails, a fabulous night, and know that you aren't alone on this ongoing search.
there's always that person who's totally wrong for you, your rational self knows that you should JUST STAY AWAY, but the dang honkin' double XX chromosome that makes us the fabulous women that we are is also the one that lets us give him just one more chance. As for my male readers out there, it's the "sensitive side" or the X chromosome in your XY make up that let's you give her just one more chance.
My theory is that we're all looking for love and to give love. Agape, one of my favorite words, is that unconditional, self-sacrificing, love. Whether you're religious or not, it's a full accepting and embracing love that we're always seeking to give and receive.
Yes, it's so important to have love in your life and people who love you, but we also have this strong desire to share ourselves with others...to give that unconditional love.
In singles-ville, that desire to give unconditional love tends to manifest itself in a lot of the wrong people who we keep letting back into our lives. As frustrating as it can be for our friends and family to watch, the only time Mr/Ms. Wrong gets the boot is when we finally come to our senses and realize that, no matter what, you have done all you can to love that person and they will never love you the way you deserve to be loved.
At the end of the day, while totally sucks to realize that you have spend your time loving someone who can never give you what you deserve; taking a chance on love will always open your heart to so much more later on down the road.
If you get a break through with that person and go into a great relationship, that's so awesome! I couldn't be happier for you (really truly). If you end up with a break up, surround yourself with friends, have a few cocktails, a fabulous night, and know that you aren't alone on this ongoing search.
Too Comfortable too soon
So, I have been a little quiet in the blogoshpere lately, but life has, as it does, gotten a little crazy. Lost a job in December, became a commercial star in January, and three months later I'm still trying to figure out what the next step is! Funny how life is nothing but discernment and listening. Anyway, on to dating...
Well the linebacker resurfaced, and we've been going out for a few months now. He's the funny thing, in his head, we never stopped dating (oops). As time has moved on, I feel that he's gotten far too comfortable in the relationship.
We're starting break up proceedings, but I do feel that you should always learn something from every relationship. What I can say is that never let someone settle too easily in a relationship. We went from two weeks of going out to me staying at home cooking for him while he watches ESPN on my flipping couch. REALLY?! i'm all about the domesticated life, but don't you think you should try to pretend you want to go out in public?!
This girl does not find a night eating stouffer's lasagna and the latest game on ESPN a good substitution for cocktails and heels. He then did his ever popular disappearing act (AGAIN). He claims he's been busy helping his brother out (so not even time for a phone call...wow, didn't realize we were in the era of land lines and operators, I thought we had a new invention called cell phones).
I think his MO is keeping someone on the back burner. Gentlemen (and ladies), if you want someone to stick around, you can't take that person for granted. If you're just not into it, don't lead the person on. Tell them that you're not feeling it and move on. It's much easier to be single than pseudo single and wondering.
Even a pot on the back burner can overboil and cause you to get burned.
Well the linebacker resurfaced, and we've been going out for a few months now. He's the funny thing, in his head, we never stopped dating (oops). As time has moved on, I feel that he's gotten far too comfortable in the relationship.
We're starting break up proceedings, but I do feel that you should always learn something from every relationship. What I can say is that never let someone settle too easily in a relationship. We went from two weeks of going out to me staying at home cooking for him while he watches ESPN on my flipping couch. REALLY?! i'm all about the domesticated life, but don't you think you should try to pretend you want to go out in public?!
This girl does not find a night eating stouffer's lasagna and the latest game on ESPN a good substitution for cocktails and heels. He then did his ever popular disappearing act (AGAIN). He claims he's been busy helping his brother out (so not even time for a phone call...wow, didn't realize we were in the era of land lines and operators, I thought we had a new invention called cell phones).
I think his MO is keeping someone on the back burner. Gentlemen (and ladies), if you want someone to stick around, you can't take that person for granted. If you're just not into it, don't lead the person on. Tell them that you're not feeling it and move on. It's much easier to be single than pseudo single and wondering.
Even a pot on the back burner can overboil and cause you to get burned.
Friday, November 5, 2010
e-mail of the day -- a DIRECT copy of the e-mail
WOULD KISS RVERY INCH OF YOU SWEETNESS FROM HEAD TOE AND SMELL YOU LIKE THE PRETTY FLOWER THAT YOU ARE IN THE FUTURE COWGIRL
No, I cannot make this up
No, I cannot make this up
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