i love her bluntness and don't question her successes as a matchmaker but her advice is a little jacked up! Some of the things in her book are that you have to lose 20lbs, get shape wear, and only wear straight hair to attract a mate.
Now, i'm not saying that I can't afford to be in better shape, but the one that was the strangest is the straight hair. She talks about the need for straight hair in her book, in her show, and when she's giving advice to women about finding a mate. Maybe it's because I'm a southerner, but I just don't get it...I'm a fan of wavy and curly hair. To be quite honest, I get so much more attention when I curl my hair than when it's stick straight.
Is my reason for singledom because I refuse to wake up and straighten my hair? Why do I get more attention when my hair is wavy or curly? Personally, think it's because I feel good with curly hair...straight hair makes me feel too upity (although it is nice on some days).
Let's face it, at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. You have to be comfortable with who you are to attract someone. I mean, who wants to hang out with someone who's uncomfortable about who he or she is?
Anyway, maybe Patty Stanger will find me a mate...in the mean time, I'll keep going with what makes me feel good about myself. Personally, when I'm having a crappy day, I love dressing my best...nothing feels better than getting dressed.
So go get yourself a new accessory, a new shade of lipstick, or put on your favorite outfit and be happy to know that you are fabulous.
Friday, July 23, 2010
guys...SERIOUSLY?!
we have heard all the stories of bad pictures going online. I get it, put your best foot forward and then do a bait and switch. Whatever, i personally don't because i like someone to know what he's in for, but i also tend to be too honest.
Here's what I don't get....why all the shirtless pics guys?! Does it really help you find "the one?!" because you sure are missing out on this nice girl. Here are some other tips from me to you
1. Don't use the words like "ma," "mami," "yo" or "check ya laterz, peace" - has this really worked for you?! Because no, I'm not gonna "kick it witch u" or "holla back" or "hit you up on the celli later"
2. If you are married, dating, in a "special situation" or in an "it's complicated" you have no business in an online dating site. I have had too many experiences and heard too many stories of those who went out with a guy who wasn't as single as he claimed to be
3. Save the baby mama/family drama for the soaps
4. You cannot be in love with a girl you just met, at the same time if you're too "hard to get" you're probably not single or want someone on the back burner
5. Try to be creative with an e-mail. If this is your e-mail "Hi." then, unless you have the most kick butt profile, i'm probably not going to respond
6. Accents are cute, admitting that you're looking for a green card no so much
7. Not all women want a marriage proposal and babies on the first date...yes, crazies are out there if you're looking for them, but nice girls just want a nice guy. On a side note, creativity will always win points on a date...especially a first date
8. being vague and not answering any questions isn't mysterious, it's just weird
9. Stop with the negativity already!
10. If you make it to the date, know that you've been exposed. We already know if a guy is interested, he makes time, he calls, he texts (in a non-stalkerish way of course). All I can say is don't think I'm waiting around for you
Here's what I don't get....why all the shirtless pics guys?! Does it really help you find "the one?!" because you sure are missing out on this nice girl. Here are some other tips from me to you
1. Don't use the words like "ma," "mami," "yo" or "check ya laterz, peace" - has this really worked for you?! Because no, I'm not gonna "kick it witch u" or "holla back" or "hit you up on the celli later"
2. If you are married, dating, in a "special situation" or in an "it's complicated" you have no business in an online dating site. I have had too many experiences and heard too many stories of those who went out with a guy who wasn't as single as he claimed to be
3. Save the baby mama/family drama for the soaps
4. You cannot be in love with a girl you just met, at the same time if you're too "hard to get" you're probably not single or want someone on the back burner
5. Try to be creative with an e-mail. If this is your e-mail "Hi." then, unless you have the most kick butt profile, i'm probably not going to respond
6. Accents are cute, admitting that you're looking for a green card no so much
7. Not all women want a marriage proposal and babies on the first date...yes, crazies are out there if you're looking for them, but nice girls just want a nice guy. On a side note, creativity will always win points on a date...especially a first date
8. being vague and not answering any questions isn't mysterious, it's just weird
9. Stop with the negativity already!
10. If you make it to the date, know that you've been exposed. We already know if a guy is interested, he makes time, he calls, he texts (in a non-stalkerish way of course). All I can say is don't think I'm waiting around for you
You are Beautiful
yes, Xtina said it best when she reminded us that we are all beautiful.
So I was out on the town, I thought I looked cute, and I got to catch up with all sorts of friends. Then around 1am I started chatting with a guy. He was cute enough, liked him as a new friend, but that was about it.
So he had a nice dose of truth serum and had reach the point when people "stop being nice and start being real." The conversation started harmlessly enough. We chatted about how much fun we were having, he said I was a cool gal, liked my personality, etc. I'm thinking it's been a fun night with old and new friends. But remember, this is me, it's never that easy.
After another shot and a few more gulps he turned to me and said, "you know, you would be so gorgeous if you just lost like 20lbs."
Two things came to mind
1. "Go F&%$ Yourself"
2. Is he being for real?! I mean, the only situation going on in your mid section is a few left over beers
Now, I will say that it wasn't the first time someone has said that to me. Let's be honest, of course I can afford to lose weight. I mean, it doesn't help that I gained weight moving back to Texas...land of supersized food and the first parking spot, but why do people feel the need to inform you of your weight?
I mean, I'm a decently active person, I've been at least the chubby kid my entire life, and I'm not overly crazy on the junkfood (minus the sweets). At the end of the day, it's about a healthy life and a healthy mindset. If you know me, you know that my main motivation to lose weight is for better clothes; at the same time, clothes is not enough of a motivator to get me to spend hours at the gym or only eat salads (don't worry, I do a little of both).
We are regularly bombarded with images, people, and our own selves pressuring us to look a certain way. For me, especially as I approach 30, I say screw it all. I am not looking for acceptance or approval. I refuse to read any more fitness articles...I know all the exercises and I'm still not going to spend hours at the gym. I might Zumba, but then I might take a few weeks off.
I am trying to challenge myself to see the good. I am working on being happy with who I am rather than stressing about the numbers on the scale (even though it is nice to see the numbers go down).
At the end of the day, the people closest to me, and most gay men in New York City, would say that I am perfect the way that I am. I am fabulous and deciding to become "gorgeous by losing at least 20lbs" is someone else's problem, not mine.
Besides, the one for me isn't sticking around because of what the numbers on my scale are or aren't. I'm going to leave with the chorus of one of my favorite Sister Hazel songs.
You've probably heard the song Change Your Mind, but here's the best part (and if you haven't heard the song do it)
If you want to be somebody else
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change Your Mind
Never let anyone make you feel less than the BEAUTIFUL you that you are. Until the next entry
So I was out on the town, I thought I looked cute, and I got to catch up with all sorts of friends. Then around 1am I started chatting with a guy. He was cute enough, liked him as a new friend, but that was about it.
So he had a nice dose of truth serum and had reach the point when people "stop being nice and start being real." The conversation started harmlessly enough. We chatted about how much fun we were having, he said I was a cool gal, liked my personality, etc. I'm thinking it's been a fun night with old and new friends. But remember, this is me, it's never that easy.
After another shot and a few more gulps he turned to me and said, "you know, you would be so gorgeous if you just lost like 20lbs."
Two things came to mind
1. "Go F&%$ Yourself"
2. Is he being for real?! I mean, the only situation going on in your mid section is a few left over beers
Now, I will say that it wasn't the first time someone has said that to me. Let's be honest, of course I can afford to lose weight. I mean, it doesn't help that I gained weight moving back to Texas...land of supersized food and the first parking spot, but why do people feel the need to inform you of your weight?
I mean, I'm a decently active person, I've been at least the chubby kid my entire life, and I'm not overly crazy on the junkfood (minus the sweets). At the end of the day, it's about a healthy life and a healthy mindset. If you know me, you know that my main motivation to lose weight is for better clothes; at the same time, clothes is not enough of a motivator to get me to spend hours at the gym or only eat salads (don't worry, I do a little of both).
We are regularly bombarded with images, people, and our own selves pressuring us to look a certain way. For me, especially as I approach 30, I say screw it all. I am not looking for acceptance or approval. I refuse to read any more fitness articles...I know all the exercises and I'm still not going to spend hours at the gym. I might Zumba, but then I might take a few weeks off.
I am trying to challenge myself to see the good. I am working on being happy with who I am rather than stressing about the numbers on the scale (even though it is nice to see the numbers go down).
At the end of the day, the people closest to me, and most gay men in New York City, would say that I am perfect the way that I am. I am fabulous and deciding to become "gorgeous by losing at least 20lbs" is someone else's problem, not mine.
Besides, the one for me isn't sticking around because of what the numbers on my scale are or aren't. I'm going to leave with the chorus of one of my favorite Sister Hazel songs.
You've probably heard the song Change Your Mind, but here's the best part (and if you haven't heard the song do it)
If you want to be somebody else
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change Your Mind
Never let anyone make you feel less than the BEAUTIFUL you that you are. Until the next entry
it's been a long time
sorry for not blogging...a few of you have asked and i've just been slacking. don't get me wrong, i've had some heinous dating experiences, but i'll save that for the future.
in the mean time, i've been busy wrapping up a job, moving to New York City, and trying to get settled in. By settled in I mean a job of course. Now that I've got the job and am slowly getting back into the NYC routine, it's time to catch you up on my experiences.
In the mean time, a big CONGRATULATIONS to all of you who have found someone special, gotten engaged, gotten married, had kids, and are all around working on being happy with yourself. After all, we have to know who we are before we can really open ourselves up to a relationship. If not, then we'll always look for someone who completes us rather than compliments.
Stayed tuned, blogs are coming up :)
in the mean time, i've been busy wrapping up a job, moving to New York City, and trying to get settled in. By settled in I mean a job of course. Now that I've got the job and am slowly getting back into the NYC routine, it's time to catch you up on my experiences.
In the mean time, a big CONGRATULATIONS to all of you who have found someone special, gotten engaged, gotten married, had kids, and are all around working on being happy with yourself. After all, we have to know who we are before we can really open ourselves up to a relationship. If not, then we'll always look for someone who completes us rather than compliments.
Stayed tuned, blogs are coming up :)
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