all my single ladies....

now put your hands up...lol...
so, here's the question out there, what is it about relationships and the quest to find someone that makes people with a healthy image, self included, feel the need to adapt or compromise who we are for someone who's not even that great?

It's worse when you watch someone who has very low self esteem. The lengths the women (and men) go through to get attention. We can't force someone to like or love us any more than we can stop the tides from rolling in. I see it over and over again...people who compromise appearance, attire, values, morals, etc. just to force a relationship that probably won't last because being in any relationship is better than being alone.

Don't get me wrong, you do compromise in relationships; however, your significant other shouldn't make you compromise who you are to make himself feel better. A healthy relationship (heck, life in general) is all about finding balance.

So where does this pressure for relationship come from? Society? Peers? Self? I think the hard pill for some to swallow in the south is that I'd rather be single and fabulous with great friends than in a mediocre relationship that makes me be less of me.

virtual rejection sucks...

Ok, this is an old though (i'm behind on my blogging), but I'll update you just the same. I went out with a guy a few weeks ago, date was ok, we talked a bit, but after getting to know him better, I wasn't sure if the chemistry was there.
On top of that, he started sending weird texts, didn't answer his phone but would call back, had lots of odd excues, etc. (things that are probably code for girlfriend).

He is a nice person, but, to be quite honest, he wants a hook up situation and I'm just not into that. I don't care if that's you're thing...more power to you, it's just not my thing.
After a few exchanges the situation went like this

him: "you're a very uptight person"
me: "really?"
him: "yes, I don't think you know how to have fun" (yes, take the code for have fun in guy terms)
me: "um...so I'm guessing that we won't be hanging out again?"
him: "yes, have a nice life" (a tone that came out of no where)
me: "that's fine, i think we have different views of what makes a relationship. good luck"
him: "GOOD BYE"

I'm a resilient girl, but my streaks of things not working out made this one a little hard to swallow. Now, I really wasn't into him, so that's not the issue.  Honestly, why go for someone that makes you feel any less awesome than you are or put up with someone you aren't even into? I will say that there's something about virtual rejections that make it a little harder to deal with rather than your traditional face to face, "this isn't working out speech."

Online has developed an outlet for people to be quite bold with "requests" (you want me to what?!), to be more upfront about their feelings, and to recreate the person hiding behind a keyboard. For better or worse, it's interesting to see how technology has affected how we communicate.